UNWRITTEN

End of the year thoughts, is so cliché and it's so not me. I hate norms. I don't do norms or clichés. Don't get me wrong, words for the end of the year are not bad, but its absolutely not like me to put it up for others to read, maybe in my diary for my eyes only but not on a social media.

One phrase people kept telling me all year was; "Mayowa, live a little!"... Yea, you'd think I'm grey and old. But I'm not I am a beautiful vibrant young woman with her whole life still ahead of her well at least 2/3rd of it.

Not sure how this is going to turn out, but go with me . . . so about living a little. Truth is they are very right to say that, I have been living like a hermit for a while now, keeping to what is familiar and safe. Now words mean a lot to me and I don't utter them carelessly, so I figured the best way to live the one day left of this year is to let my thoughts form into words unbridled, and what comes to mind now is Natasha Bedingfield's  song "Unwritten"; hence the title of this piece.

My year hasn't been the best nor the worst, I haven't had life shattering moments or bone crushing trials as you may think, but in my own way I have had a fair share of what the year had to offer. Expectations not met, hopes lost, love unrequited. But through it all, one thing I have learnt is to love myself. Let me tell you a little bit about me. I am special . . . yea yea. I know everyone says that about themselves, but believe me I have never believed or said it out loud about myself until now. It's like the movie "There is something about Mary". Ok quick summary; it's about a lady named Mary off course played by Cameron Diaz, who had this thing about her that makes everyone who comes in contact with her fall in love with her or just drawn to her, and her sweet, bright disposition was a bonus. If there were to be a remake it will be "There is something about Mayowa minus the sunny, sweet disposition.  Being played by Cameron Diaz would be perfect, not to brag but I've been told several times that we look alike. Point is there is a quality about me that draws people to me despite the fact that I work overtime not to be nice. However, I realized some things are just the way they are and the sooner you embrace them the better. Not to sound so self-absorb, this year I have come to truly love me just as I am, to embrace all that I am and developed a burning desire to explore myself until I attain my fullest potential.

So for 2014 I just want to say thank you Lord for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, inside and out. Thank you Lord for all my flaws, ups and downs because every experiences, mistakes, beauty, ugliness, strength, weakness, success or lack thereof; all make up the Smart beautiful woman I am today. I might not fully understand it all or appreciate me yet, but I am learning to love me and I am grateful for it.

To my family you're not the worst...for all your eccentricity, I wouldn't trade you for any other family in the whole wide world, you are the best...wink***I love you all very much (I know this is the first time I'm saying it, so savor it well).

To my friends who have been there with me through this year, it's been an amazing journey I know I was cynical, boring and sarcastic most of the time but thanks for putting up with me, the year won’t have been the same without you.  For all those I let down, what can I say; I'm not the nicest person in world hope I'd get the chance to make it up to you in 2015. And to all those who left me hanging, you have missed out on a good thing.

And to that special one, hmm . . . I know I could be a handful with my weirdness and all but I can promise you I am a bundle of joy and delight . . . Can't wait to see all the amazing things God is going to do through us together in 2015 and the years to come. I love you so much already.

Lastly to you reading this, thank you so much for letting me live even a little in 2014 through these words. I know this is a start of something great.

A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!

Written by:

Soyemi Mayowa. O. 

Architect

Interface Projects Ltd

(Design + Builds)

Do you say thank you enough?

The use of the word “thank you” should always be a part of our everyday life. A day should not go by without saying “thank you” with a smile to someone. One particular day I needed to get a phone pouch and a charger but I was not sure I could get it around. However, I decided to step into a Phone Shop around the corner without any hope of getting what I wanted anyway. To my amazement they didn’t just have what I wanted, they had the exact colour I wanted. You should have seen the thrill and beam on my face knowing I didn’t have to go too far to get it. After placing my order and paying, on my way out I said “thank you” with a big smile. The sales representative replied “you shouldn’t say thank you, we are suppose to tell you thank you for patronizing us”. Again I smiled and said “thank you for the good customer service you offered to me and for having what I wanted”. I walked out of the shop asking myself “what is the importance of saying thank you”.

Personally I believe saying “thank you” is an act of gratitude and appreciation. And every moment is an opportunity for thank you. Saying thank you goes a long way to make each day a better day for everyone. When a door man opens the door for you, he’s just doing the job he gets paid to do so you might say to yourself “I don’t necessarily have to tell him thank you”. Yes it's just his job but a thank you could make him do his job better knowing that someone appreciates what he’s doing and doesn’t take it for granted. 'Thank you' shows our appreciation and conveys our gratitude. But more than that, it is a sign of respect to the person who has helped you or offered a service to you no matter how little. And that is why saying thank you matters.

Saying 'thank you' is an everyday etiquette and a simple courtesy that takes just a moment. It costs nothing, not even effort. But it's also one of the most important ways in which we interact with others, both those closest to us and those with whom we have contact for the briefest of times. We say thank you for gifts, thank you for favors, and thank you for assistance in times of need. But it's not only for the 'big' things  thank you matters, we also say 'thank you' as we're handed our change in the store, thank you to someone who holds the door for us, and thank you to the person who allows you get in front of him on the queue. It's a phrase that is pretty much ubiquitous, but it's never unwanted, and it can mean so much. So, how often do you say thank you? Do you say thank you only to those you love, those you wish to impress or judge to be important? Or do you generously sprinkle your daily interactions with these two golden words?

Saying thank you certainly matters to the person you say it to, but it can have great rewards for you too. Sure, you can get a long way without it, but you'll get a lot further with it! Thank you for taking the time out to read my article. Thank you to my family and my precious friends who have always been my inspiration. Thank you to the people I meet everyday who help me see life from a different viewpoint.

BE HAPPY

“It’s just not fair,” I had said to myself. “Everything seems not to be going the way I want them. I make all the plans, do everything like I should, I pray about it and believe it but it just doesn't seem to work out well. My life is so unfair.” For the next 45 minutes, I listened to myself make a list of the things I didn't have, and complain about all the things I wanted. In my head I complained, compared, and highlighted all the things I desired, but didn't have and all the things that had gone wrong. 

Immediately a chat with a friend snapped me back to reality and I started to remind myself of all the things I had been blessed with. My friend was telling me she had seen a pretty well dressed lady get knocked down by a car and right there she had bled to death. Then my friend said “that lady didn't plan to die but life just happened.” She said further “life is a gift and it simply means there’s always something to be happy about or grateful for”. Finally she said “you are in control of your happiness so control it”. Many times we find unhappiness creeping into our life because we let our guards down. A small envious look at a friend’s brand new home, a little comparing of our salary to another’s, a desire to be in that position your colleague is, blaming someone for making things so bad for you. With seemingly tiny, insignificant thoughts, we find unhappiness beginning to creep in.

The truth is, happy people aren't happy because they were born that way. Happy people aren't happy because their life is perfect. Happy people aren't happy because they got it all figured out. Happy people aren't happy because they don’t have problems. Happy people aren't happy because they have never been hurt. Happy people aren't happy because they are rich or because they have it all. Happy people are happy because they have chosen to be happy. The truth is we are what we want to be. If you want to be happy despite all the drama and frustrations all around you then you will be happy. Someone asked me why am always so excited and smiling and I simply said “Am alive so am happy”. Sometimes I tell myself am happy today because I tried on a new make-up or a new recipe. You can see splendor and happiness even in the smallest mundane things. Always think on the things that are lovely, good, and admirable - because our thoughts will open the door of our hearts to be happy and thankful. Let me share a few things I think have people do.

·        Happy people help others. Sometimes it’s just putting a smile on another person’s face. The other day I got into the front seat of a bus and I said good morning to the driver. He replied saying “Good morning ma, I hope you had a wonderful weekend.” In all honesty I was shocked because bus drivers and conductors in Lagos are the least friendly people. However, he did make a good impression so throughout that day I made sure I said hello with a smile to everyone I came in contact with.

·        Happy People Don’t Complain. Whether it’s a passing comment about the crummy weather, or a drawn out conversation about those annoying co-workers, complaining will always lead to discontent, because your feelings will always follow your words. When i moved to Lagos i would call my sister and complain about everything in Lagos. One day I called again to complain and she said "you know what i have an assignment for you". She then said "You are obviously unhappy in Lagos because you see all the things that are wrong. From now on, everyday you have to tell me something good about the day no matter how small". Each day I found myself looking for something good to tell my sister at the end of the day and gradually i became very happy. 

·        Happy People Don’t Compare. We often measure ourselves up against other people. But doing so will guarantee life on an emotional roller coaster, because sometimes we’ll measure up, and sometimes we won’t. Sometimes we’ll be the smartest, prettiest, most successful person in the room- but other times, we’ll be the last one.

·        Happy People Don’t Compete. It’s easy to fall into the trap of getting ahead. Whether it be our focus on our finances, our families, or even in our work places, we can get caught up in wanting more, having more, and making more. Though it’s healthy to strive for our best, happy people understand that true contentment is less about winning, and more about living a worthwhile life. A life that isn't focused on being better than others, but rather, blessing them. You are not in competition with anyone else; plan to outdo your past, not other people.

·        Happy people appreciate life. When life is good, enjoy it.  Don’t go looking for something better every second.  Happiness never comes to those who don’t appreciate what they have.  You must be willing to loosen your grip on the life you have planned so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you in this moment.  It may not be everything you want for your future, but it’s everything you need right now.

·        Happy people are positive. Happiness is in the heart and mind, not in random circumstances.  Beautiful things happen when you distance yourself from negative thinking.  Be positive and smile right now, not because everything is good, but because you can see the good side of everything. Smiling doesn't always mean you’re happy; sometimes it simply means you’re strong.  And smiling will help you feel better.

·        Happy people spend time with friends and family. Friends and family help you celebrate life's successes and support you in difficult times. Although it's easy to take friends and family for granted, these relationships need nurturing. Build up your emotional account with kind words and actions. Be careful and gracious with critique. Let people know that you appreciate what they do for you or even just that you're glad they're part of your life.

Inspired by Oyindamola Morebise 

LOVE YOURSELF

Was having a conversation with my dear friend the other day and she said “Have always thought you don’t love yourself but now I guess I know better, you sure do love ourself”. I was telling her about a decision I took which I said is best for me at this point in time. After the conversation I realized that many of us really have no clue about why we should all love and honor ourselves. That conversation really got me thinking and here are my thoughts:

Honestly, how often do we think about how we feel about ourselves? Most of us spend much more time loving other people, loving ideas or activities, or simply confusing love with compulsion, addiction, or lust. Many of us grew up in homes that did not exactly foster loving atmosphere and mutual respect.  Sometimes it seems like our families taught us more about how not to do love than about how to make love and relationships work. In truth some people didn’t grow up in a home or with families so they never got to understand what it is to love. Some people grew up with inferiority complex. Some people grew up hating themselves for different reasons. Some people never just accepted themselves.

Sometimes we have to struggle to learn how to care for ourselves. For most of us, it is a lifelong process. Allow yourself to embrace the process. What would happen if you let yourself make mistakes? What would happen if you forgave yourself? What would happen if you allowed yourself feel loved? What would happen if you take that big step you have been thinking of? What would happen if you start your dream career? What would happen if you express yourself?

Love can be difficult for some people. It can bring back memories, or stir up emotions that are not normally present. Some people can’t love themselves or even love any other person. Some others would rather love everyone and everything but never themselves. However, every day is a new opportunity to learn how to love and respect yourself. The honest truth is we all need to learn to love ourselves. Loving yourself isn’t being selfish, loving yourself doesn’t mean you are egocentric. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care about any other person.  We all know you can’t give what you don’t have. So if you don’t love yourself you can’t truly understand how to love another. Receiving love from others is not a guarantee that you love yourself, loving others doesn’t mean you love yourself. When you love yourself, you build a relationship with yourself. You learn to be comfortable spending time on your own, you learn to take care of your mind and your body. You learn to nurture your inner child, and gradually, you learn to better accept rejection and loss because you know that ultimately, you will be okay. When you love yourself, you build a relationship with your higher power. You gain strength from your spiritual source– no matter what faith you choose to believe. When you love yourself, you forgive yourself and you forgive others.

Loving yourself means believing in yourself. Loving yourself means giving yourself the best. Loving yourself means looking out for yourself. Loving yourself means telling yourself that it is okay to let go. Loving yourself means caring for yourself during loss, it means holding on for one more day when the days seem darkest.  Loving yourself means letting go of the outcome. Loving yourself means understanding that your dreams may be delayed, but they are rarely completely denied. When you love yourself, you encourage yourself to keep fighting, to keep trying and to keep moving. Loving yourself means being sincere with yourself. Loving yourself means accepting that you are not perfect and you shouldn’t always blame yourself when something goes wrong. Loving yourself means not allowing the pain and disappointments of today define your future. Loving yourself means allowing yourself to heal. Loving yourself means caring about your own wellness and well-being. A person who loves herself or himself is secure. When you care for yourself, you are able to tell yourself that, one way or another, things will eventually even out. Things will be okay.

You may not be rich, you may not have the perfect job or the perfect family. Your life may be up-in-the-air, and you may be surrounded by different circumstances. But loving yourself helps you know that you will get through this. You will survive this moment, this day, this year.

Inspired by Mrs Ralia Shaibu Beita. 

THE MASK WE WEAR

Presenting a certain face to the world is something that most people are very familiar with.  You have a day when you’re feeling a bit off colour and yet if people ask you if there’s something wrong you tell them that you’re feeling fine and give them a big smile.  Beneath the mask of sounding positive, you’re keeping your true feelings to yourself.  This is something that is very common and something we all do. The different masks people wear in the course of a day act as social disguise and help them get through a variety of situations. The reasons we develop masks are complex but there’s no doubt that character, parenting and culture all take part in the early moulding. Say you’re brought up in a family or culture where self-control is valued and emotion scorned. You might construct a tough, nothing-can-touch-me persona that dismisses difficulties and looks down on those who show flaws as weak.

The greatest actors aren’t necessarily the ones we see on tv. Sometimes they are the people right beside us who hide behind the perfect mask, too scared to show that they don’t have it all together. I know, because often times I find myself wearing that mask. I didn’t even realize I’ve been wearing the mask for months now until one cold morning when I woke up trying to get ready for work as usual but I just couldn’t get out of bed, I could not stop the tears from rolling, I just couldn’t wear the mask of “all is well” anymore. I remember it very clearly because it was one of my hardest weeks. In the morning I would put on a very happy mask and go to work and start the acting. I would work, play, and even laugh with everyone but when I got back home at the end of the day, I was left to face the real person behind that mask. I was too scared to let down the mask because I could not let anyone see that I didn’t have it all together. And it was during that period that I learnt a very important lesson… a lesson on taking off that mask that I put on.

The mask that so often hides what I was really feeling on the inside. The mask that hides the fact that I don’t have it all together. The mask that hides the fact that I cried myself to sleep every night. We all wear masks from time to time: in our words, our habits, and our practices. We have an arsenal of crutches and shortcuts that slowly but surely hide who we are. They are things that prop us up and help us hide. We hide from our feelings and our desires. We hide from who we might become. We cover a lot of things up. Scars we carry, stories we hold, work we're afraid of doing. It's not terrible to have masks, but they can't be our only way of dealing with the world. If we spend the entire time warding off the world and hiding from ourselves, we'll miss the best parts. By hiding from the world, we hide ourselves, and we lose a piece of our souls. Many of us have lost touch with ourselves, our souls, with the tender, tired, scared part of itself. Let me share my story. 

I usually wake up early and set off for work as early as possible so I can get to the office, settle down and feel relaxed before work starts. My desk is close to the corridor, so I would smile and greet everyone who walks into the office and sometimes catch up with a few colleagues to have a good time. But this Monday morning as I sat in the car on my way to work, that was the last place I wanted to be. How could I possibly go to work to be surrounded by 60 happy, “having it all together” people when I felt like I was falling apart on the inside? How could I possibly put a fake smile on my face and act like I was okay when I wasn’t? But I knew that I couldn’t let myself stay alone at home. There’s nothing worse than isolating yourself when you are down. You always need to be around good people that love you and will be there to encourage you. So although I had no desire to do anything but stay in bed all day and cry, I decided that I had to go to work. But I would try not to talk to anyone. I would just bury my head in my laptop and act like I was engrossed with work. But deep down inside I was tired of wearing the mask, I just wanted to be open, vulnerable, transparent not trying to be perfect, not having it all together. I didn’t want to hide behind the mask. I didn’t want to worry about what people thought of me just because I wasn’t perfect or I was down. And I thought to myself… “maybe today I can do it, maybe I can put my mask down, maybe I can actually tell someone that I’m not okay, maybe I can be a little vulnerable, maybe, just maybe…”

The first person I saw was my friend and partner and with a big smile on her face she asked me how I was doing, to which I replied “Good!”… of course. What else could I say? And once again, that mask was up. As usual I went back to smiling and greeting everyone. I got back home from work that day and the mask was off again. I was back to the little world I had built for myself too afraid to let anyone in then I prayed to God to just give me a sign that it was ok to talk to a friend. Unexpectedly that night I got a message from an acquaintance who I had never had a personal conversation with and he asked how I was doing without having to wear the mask I said I was not fine but I didn’t wanna talk about it. Then he asked to share a story with me. His little boy of 5 had been diagnosed with cancer and he was lying on the hospital bed. At that moment I realized I was not alone.  I was not the only one that didn’t have it all together, that was confused about what was going on in my life, and that was going through a few trials. The inspiration in it was if a 5 year old child was fighting cancer and still surviving then I could let down my mask, be vulnerable and truly talk to a friend. I got to work the following day without the mask. I called two of my close friends and colleagues that I could trust, I told them I was not fine and everything around me seems to be falling apart. I could not hold back the tears any more. At the end they encouraged me and told me I was not the only one going through stuff.  But after that moment my spirit lifted… and I smiled genuinely. Because I had put my mask down and I was willing to accept that I didn’t have it all together.

And after putting that mask down I found out that I wasn’t the only one wearing a mask. That I wasn’t the only one not okay at that moment. And that made me feel good. The truth is its okay not to be okay. A good old friend told me “hey, it’s okay not to have it all together but just make sure you get the help you need and you don’t stay down for too long.” It’s okay to not be the perfect person that you think everyone expects you to be. It’s okay to not have everything figured out in life. My sister called me up one morning and said “it’s okay if you feel so down and not sure what to do next”. Then she further said “whatever you choose to do I got your back but just understand that giving up isn’t an option, you must choose a path and follow it”. 

I got the inspiration to share this from my little 5 year old friend, I call him Little Prince. As a little child he wouldn’t even have to worry about wearing a mask. If he’s in pain he just shows it naturally, if he’s happy he just shows it naturally, all he needs to do is just stretch out his hands to his parents. His parents might not be able to take the pain away but knowing they understand and are there is what keeps the Little Prince going. Just like my Little Prince I don’t have to wear the mask and that doesn’t also mean that I have to tell the whole world about how I feel or wear my heart on my sleeve. But it made me understand that I needed to find that one person I could trust and be open with and oh how well that worked out for me . . . I had a lot of positive, supporting friends and family who stood right by my side holding my hand all the way. Friends who kept loving me all the way without looking down on me for not having it all together. Right now I still don’t have it together but then I don’t have to wear my mask. Like my Little Prince I just stretch out my hands to the friends God has placed in my life. 

You should choose to be a little vulnerable and transparent about what you’re going through. Often times when you put your mask down you will see that people will put theirs down too. Some people will hide behind their masks forever. Some people will never allow themselves to be a little vulnerable… which I think is tragic. There are many things we can learn from one another’s struggles, pains, and trials. And there is a lot of love and support we could give and receive.

In the end, we all wear masks. Sometimes unknowingly. Sometimes on purpose. But the truth is we all have struggles, we all have insecurities, we all have pain. We all have gone through trials, face temptations, and make mistakes. We all fail, we all fall, we all don’t always measure up to the “ideal” person we want to be. We all come up short somewhere. And we are all broken human beings in need of a merciful and loving God who knows us just the way we are and loved us enough to die for us anyway. Don’t worry about being perfect. Don’t worry about having it all together. Don’t worry about wearing your mask. Whatever you are going through, someone has already been there. Whatever you are facing right now, someone is facing it too. Whatever battles you are fighting, someone has fought that same battle too. Always know that wherever you are at right now, you are not the only one there. Every time I thought of giving up I remember my Little Prince going through what is worse than mine so instead of beating myself up about my situation I just pray for him. Every time I feel like giving up again I remember the words of my friends who kept holding my hand and believing in me. Sometimes all it takes is putting that mask down to help us realize that we are not alone.

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

What I've Learned About Friendship

I've learned that there are many good friends around, but true friends are hard to come by.

I've learned that a true friend is more important than a boyfriend.

I've learned that you can do something or nothing with a true friend and still have the best time.

I've learned that true friendship has many memories, both good and bad, but all important.

I've learned that when a true friend is happy, you find yourself happy too, even when it has nothing to do with you.

I've learned that a true friend's family soon feels like your own.

I've learned that the only one who truly understands is a true friend.

I've learned that nothing ever sounds stupid, funny, or unbelievable to a true friend, and you never feel stupid saying whatever it is.

I've learned that sometimes it feels like a true friend is the only one who will ever care about you and think you are beautiful in your own way.

I've learned that you always have that something extra to give to a true friend in need, and can count on that in return.

I've learned that your heart is forever touched by a true friend, no matter how things end up.

I've learned that when your heart has been broken, a true friend is the best band-aid for it.

I've learned that a true friend will call you in the middle of the night to talk without thinking, and it's OK.

I've learned that in many cases, a hug and a kind word from a true friend is the only thing that helps get you through the day.

I've learned that a true friend would stick up for you no matter what the consequences are.

I've learned that true friends can sing at the top of their lungs and not worry about singing the wrong words or being out of tune.

I've learned that true friends stay up all night and on the phone for hours talking without even realizing it.

I've learned that sometimes a true friend is all you have.

I've learned that sometimes you wonder how she knew, but then you realize that's just how close you are.

I've learned that when you are true friends, everyone else knows it.

I've learned that, most importantly of all, true friends will always be true friends, no matter what is happening in their lives, where they are, or what they are doing. A true friend is irreplaceable. 

THANK YOU

Dear True Friends,

Woke up this morning with mixed feelings not having a clue what to expect today, you might wonder why I would wake up with that kind of feeling on a special day like this. Yes am so grateful to God for the gift of life but I didn’t know if I should cry, or laugh, or scream, or dance, or party, or go shopping, or just stay in bed all day. There are times in life when we get our own fair share of tough times. Times when nothing seems to make sense because you have been let down by the one you trusted the most, or you have been betrayed by the one you love, or you have been turned down by the one you thought would always be there for you. But then in times like that is when you tell who your true friends are, and who is only there for you during the great times when everything is going well. Fair weather friends may have your back during the good times in life, when being your friend has benefits and rewards, but if the tide turns these people are the first to disown you and run for the hills in order to put distance between you. A true friend will always be there for you no matter what you are going through in life, and when times get tough the true friends stick by your side and give you the support that you need to make it through. These are the people in your life that make it better, and they will stay even when being your friend costs them dearly. These are people who would make do all they can to see you smile again. These are people who would not give up on you even when you want to give up on yourself. They become your inspiration, motivation, joy, strength, shoulder, and smile. They are right there at every turn with words of sympathy and encouragement. 

Today has become an extremely special day for me because of the friends God has placed in my life. True friends indeed I would call them. In my friends I found confidants, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, guides, motivators, mentors, I can go on. To all my friends and my heaven sent siblings I want to say a big thank you. Thank you for being you and for letting me be me. Thank you for letting me feel so much like myself when I’m with you. Thank you for not making me wear any masks or put on any fronts. Thank you for sharing in my happiest moments, and for genuinely feeling the same. Thank for listening to my saddest stories and radiating compassion and encouragement from wherever you are. Thank you for being the most beautiful person, inside and out. Thank you for making the world a better place, just by being in it. Thank you for making colors a little brighter, sunshine a little warmer, and hugs a little better. Thank you for loving more fiercely through it all. Thank you for making my happiness a priority. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for the laughs, for the encouragements, for the motivation, and for everything in between. Thank you for being my rock, my anchor. Thank you for keeping me grounded when I feel like I might otherwise blow away. Thank you for all of the things you do, big and small. Thank you for always knowing what to say and for being one of life’s best teachers. Thank you for making fun of me when I deserve it, and for loving me when I don’t. Thank you for staying constant in a world full of change, and for keeping some normalcy in a world full of chaos. Thank you for making sure I am still your friend. Thank you for setting the bar so high and making it impossible to settle for anyone not worth my friendship.

Thank you for walking with me when I needed support, thank you for walking ahead of me when I needed guidance and thanks for walking behind me when I needed someone to watch my back. You gave me your shoulder to lean on when I was down, a piece of your mind when I was acting crazy, your hand to help me move on and your heart to heal all my worries. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for the absolute privilege and honor of being able to call you all my friends. Thank you for being my person. Thank you for giving me these reasons and a million more, to be thankful for. If I were to call names I would have a long list that never ends. My siblings Mayowa, Samuel, Dapo and Ladi. Life would never have been the same without you guys. Mrs Beita, Molly, Kofo, Morenike, Tosin Oduwole, Tosin Oduleye, Negho, Inioluwa my sisters, my friends, my inspiration, my joy, my rock. Mike, Nas, Dubiz, Gbenga, Majid, Sheena, Marvel, Ayomide, Oluwatosin, TO thank you for having my back. My friend Femi you have always been a brother and a friend through all times no matter the circumstance. Thank you to my MD you have been a father every step of the way. And of course my baby Nifemi, am always in love with you. 

Forever and Always,

Humble Me

I will stand again

Feeling broken
Barely holding on
But there's just something so strong
Somewhere inside me
And I am down but I'll get up again
Don't count me out just yet

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me
You haven't seen the last of me

They can say that
I won't stay around
But I'm gonna stand my ground
You're not gonna stop me
You don't know me
You don't know who I am
Don't count me out so fast

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven't seen the last of me

There will be no fade out
This is not the end
I'm down now
But I'll be standing tall again
Times are hard but
I was built tough
I'm gonna show you all what I'm made of

I've been brought down to my knees
And I've been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I'll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
I am far from over
You haven't seen the last of me

No no
I'm not going nowhere
I'm staying right here
Oh no
You won't see me begging
I'm not taking my bow
Can't stop me
It's not the end
You haven't seen the last of me
Oh no
You haven't seen the last of me
You haven't seen the last of me

FRIENDSHIP CHALLENGE

The Friendship Challenge

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?" Ecclesiastes 4:9-11 (NIV)

What makes a woman tender also reveals her vulnerabilities.

What makes a woman transparent also exposes her wounds.

What makes a woman authentic also uncovers her insecurities.

And there aren't many women who enjoy being revealed, exposed, and uncovered. But establishing real intimacy with another person requires pushing past the resistance—past the fear.

Friendship is risky.

To be known is to risk being hurt. But friendship can be beautiful, and worth the risk.

We can look to the Bible for examples of monumental friendships. In 1 Samuel 18 we learn about the special friendship between David and Jonathan, an example of a true bond. When Jonathan's father, King Saul, threatened David with death, Jonathan risked his position in his father's household and warned his friend.

Jonathan and David's friendship lasted their lifetime, and because of Jonathan's loyalty to David, the Lord blessed them both. David eventually became king, but by then Jonathan had died. David inquired, "'Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan's sake?'" (2 Samuel 9:1b NIV).

Don't miss this beauty: it was customary for the present king to put to death any of the former king's family. However, because of his and Jonathan's strong friendship, King David tenderly provided for Jonathan's son. "I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table" (2 Samuel 9:7b NIV). "So Mephibosheth ate at David's table like one of the king's sons" (2 Samuel 9:11b NIV).

Awesome. Inspiring. Friendship.

Yes, friendship is beautiful. The Lord gave it to us. He knew we would need each other to get through this life.

Think about a friend you can make an investment in.

Not the friend with whom you feel most comfortable. But rather one who might benefit from seeing a little more of your tenderness, transparency, and authenticity. Someone who might be worth a risk.

Someone in your sphere of influence is desperate to know someone else understands.

Might we take three steps and give ourselves a friendship challenge? Here are three things you can do to invest in a friend:

1) Have a conversation with her in which you honestly admit one of your vulnerabilities. Chances are she'll reveal something to you as well. Then really commit to pray for her. Maybe wear a watch or bracelet and every time you're distracted by it, use this as a prompt to carry her burden in your prayers.

2) Buy or make this friend a gift. Just because. It doesn't have to cost much. But make an investment of time to think of something that would personally delight her.

3) Write your friend a note to attach to the gift. In the letter, tell her at least three things you admire about her and some way she's made a difference in your life.

Then deliver this little "just because" gift and note to your friend. This friend who sometimes feels a little vulnerable. Wounded. Exposed in some way.

Your honesty and thoughtfulness will be such a sweet investment.

For her.

For you.

For your friendship.

Are you up for taking the friendship challenge?

By Lysa TerKeurst