Beauty in Hugs

I was a shy reserved kid. I never liked to mingle or spend so much time with other kids, I preferred to just talk to a few close friends even at that I still kept a lot of distance. I didn’t like to hold hands or hug anyone if you try to hug me I would just stand there stiff wishing it would just be over already. My sister wasn’t so much different from me either. If anyone tries to hug her she would push the person away and yell “stop hugging me” . . . (by the way I think she still does that sometimes . . . lol). I remember our mum scolding her a few times when she does that. My mum would always say "its just a simple expression of love". Well not that we don’t hug at all but it was never something we really did. For me I usually felt I wasn't capable of connecting with other people so I wasn't willing to let people into my life. As a result of this I built a brick wall of defence around me that kept closeness or feelings at arm’s length. 

However, all these began to change in my final year in the university and law school when I met some awesome friends who believed so much in love and affection. They are the kind of friends who would look out for you, care for you, stand by you, and love you at all times even when you think you don’t deserve it. At first I would tell them I don’t do love, am a rigid person and I don’t know how to reciprocate kind gestures. They would joke and say “Seyi is allergic to love” but this didn't stop them from teaching me to understand that there is no harm in letting people in or showing emotions. Little by little, I started to soften to their hugs. The transformation was so slow and subtle that I didn't even notice. With them I learnt the beauty in hugs. 

Let’s take a real deep look into the beauty of a hug. A hug can break down barriers that sometimes words cannot do. At times a hug can speaks more than words can. We bond with a hug. We find comfort with a hug. We greet and separate from each other with a hug. We establish human contact and interaction with a hug. The beauty of a hug is in its simplicity. It costs nothing but a simple act of caring and kindness. A hug takes you in and comforts you, a hug allows you to let go of all the overwhelming pondering thoughts for just a few seconds. You can call it the “Letting Go Hug”, to let go of the surrounding environment, to let go of all your worries, to let go of all your walls. There are days when you don’t really want to talk about what you are going through but all you really want is a hug from a friend. I have a friend and colleague who is a great hugger, once you are enveloped in the warmth of her arms you feel like the world has gone to sleep as you have woken up internally. A few of my friends are great huggers too and these are my “lifetime” friends.

Parents, how often do you hug your children? I mean really ‘a hug’. Have you held your kid close to your heart for few moments so he feels your love without you having to say a word? We may prepare food for our children, drive them around, take them to the movies, buy them toys and treats, but nothing registers as deeply as a simple squeeze, cuddle, or pat on the back.

Allow your guards down for a few seconds, take a breath of fresh air and let your hair down, there is no harm in a hug, and there is always beauty within that which is expressed in its rawest of forms between two people. If you are a hugger, keep all huggers close for the days in which that is all you really need. A quote by Jill Wolf “Hugs don’t need new equipment, special batteries or parts – just open up your arms and open up your hearts”.

By the way, my little bro I owe you a big bear hug for the images.