MOTHERHOOD

Sitting in my sister’s living room, watching her with her family I thought I needed to write a piece on motherhood. Well biologically I’m not a mom yet but by my way of life and environment I am a mom to so many. Infact I’m a grandma … lol. Lemme explain before you start rolling your eyes. I have this young lady who many years back I had taken under my wings as my daughter. She sent me a text on the 1st of Jan telling me I’m now a grandma. So you see I’m a grandma *winks*

I left my sister’s home and I ignored the thought of writing this piece. Then on New Year’s Day I got invited by my childhood friend to spend the day with her and her family. Let me mention that my friend is heavily pregnant and she has an energetic male toddler. I watched as she tried to get herself around, attend to her toddler, get the cooking done and still attend to her guest. It was great joy and pleasure for me to help her do the cooking and cleaning. When we were done I watched as she slowly went to get a shower, she got back and sank into the sofa with a plate of food she no longer had appetite to eat and she still had to pacify the toddler who didn’t understand why his mom would not give him so much attention. By the time I was leaving her house that evening I became convinced that I needed to write this piece on the joy of motherhood to celebrate all mothers. 

Watching my sister and my friend I could see that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and contentment. Motherhood is indeed a valley of tears and a mountain of immeasurable joy. Not just because mothers go through so much for the sake of their stretching, growing children, but because they give of their very physical substance to nourish them and it costs them something. I have watched pregnant mothers stagger under the weight of the illness and fatigue of pregnancies that seem to drain their very soul. They cry out in anguish as they labor and give birth. However, complete joy sweeps through the mother as she holds her baby in her arms for the first time. It is the great and mysterious gift of motherhood. They say that immediately after the birth, they forget the pain and everything that they had being through during the pregnancy.

No one can tell you exactly what to expect as you step into the phase of motherhood. It’s something you unravel and understand yourself and find what works for you. In the first few years of motherhood, no one ever tells you how inevitably hard it is going to get. You just learn from your experiences. What amazes me the most about these mothers is that I can see it never gets easier and I guess they were afraid at the beginning but all you ever see on their faces is overwhelming joy and pride as they nurse their babies into healthy and strong children. 

For the typical African woman she still needs to ensure the hubby is well taken care of and attended to *smiles*. Of course she still needs to keep the house running well amidst all the chores and wifely duties. And if she is a working mother, she needs to ensure her work doesn’t suffer for all the times she had to stay up nursing the baby at night. Who says being a mother is not a big deal. Just as motherhood is filled with incredible highs it is filled with incredible lows. It is tremendously hard, demanding, and at times frustrating. I had no idea how demanding motherhood was until I watched my close friends and sister become mothers. But this doesn’t even elucidate it well because I’m not there yet.

According to my sister “guess there is a grace God gives to Mothers and strength that comes from within which you don't even know is there until you need it and reach for it. With time you don't even realize the effort it takes anymore it just becomes normal. But there are days hmmm you just want lie and be selfish but the mother in you won’t let you...lol.” 

To my mum who never thinks we are too old to be looked after and cared for, to my sweet sister who is now a mother that inspires, to my dearest daughter who just became a mother, to my precious friends who have all those adorable babies that make me feel like a mother already, and to every mother out there I doff my hat to you. 

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” ― Donna Ball.