LOVE YOURSELF

Was having a conversation with my dear friend the other day and she said “Have always thought you don’t love yourself but now I guess I know better, you sure do love ourself”. I was telling her about a decision I took which I said is best for me at this point in time. After the conversation I realized that many of us really have no clue about why we should all love and honor ourselves. That conversation really got me thinking and here are my thoughts:

Honestly, how often do we think about how we feel about ourselves? Most of us spend much more time loving other people, loving ideas or activities, or simply confusing love with compulsion, addiction, or lust. Many of us grew up in homes that did not exactly foster loving atmosphere and mutual respect.  Sometimes it seems like our families taught us more about how not to do love than about how to make love and relationships work. In truth some people didn’t grow up in a home or with families so they never got to understand what it is to love. Some people grew up with inferiority complex. Some people grew up hating themselves for different reasons. Some people never just accepted themselves.

Sometimes we have to struggle to learn how to care for ourselves. For most of us, it is a lifelong process. Allow yourself to embrace the process. What would happen if you let yourself make mistakes? What would happen if you forgave yourself? What would happen if you allowed yourself feel loved? What would happen if you take that big step you have been thinking of? What would happen if you start your dream career? What would happen if you express yourself?

Love can be difficult for some people. It can bring back memories, or stir up emotions that are not normally present. Some people can’t love themselves or even love any other person. Some others would rather love everyone and everything but never themselves. However, every day is a new opportunity to learn how to love and respect yourself. The honest truth is we all need to learn to love ourselves. Loving yourself isn’t being selfish, loving yourself doesn’t mean you are egocentric. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you don’t care about any other person.  We all know you can’t give what you don’t have. So if you don’t love yourself you can’t truly understand how to love another. Receiving love from others is not a guarantee that you love yourself, loving others doesn’t mean you love yourself. When you love yourself, you build a relationship with yourself. You learn to be comfortable spending time on your own, you learn to take care of your mind and your body. You learn to nurture your inner child, and gradually, you learn to better accept rejection and loss because you know that ultimately, you will be okay. When you love yourself, you build a relationship with your higher power. You gain strength from your spiritual source– no matter what faith you choose to believe. When you love yourself, you forgive yourself and you forgive others.

Loving yourself means believing in yourself. Loving yourself means giving yourself the best. Loving yourself means looking out for yourself. Loving yourself means telling yourself that it is okay to let go. Loving yourself means caring for yourself during loss, it means holding on for one more day when the days seem darkest.  Loving yourself means letting go of the outcome. Loving yourself means understanding that your dreams may be delayed, but they are rarely completely denied. When you love yourself, you encourage yourself to keep fighting, to keep trying and to keep moving. Loving yourself means being sincere with yourself. Loving yourself means accepting that you are not perfect and you shouldn’t always blame yourself when something goes wrong. Loving yourself means not allowing the pain and disappointments of today define your future. Loving yourself means allowing yourself to heal. Loving yourself means caring about your own wellness and well-being. A person who loves herself or himself is secure. When you care for yourself, you are able to tell yourself that, one way or another, things will eventually even out. Things will be okay.

You may not be rich, you may not have the perfect job or the perfect family. Your life may be up-in-the-air, and you may be surrounded by different circumstances. But loving yourself helps you know that you will get through this. You will survive this moment, this day, this year.

Inspired by Mrs Ralia Shaibu Beita.