Living a life for God to leave a lasting legacy

Sunday, September 29, 2013

A LETTER FROM THE HEART . . .

FIRST LETTER TO MY KING

Dear Michael,
The fateful day we met, I know that neither one of us had in mind that we would meet someone on that day. We both thought we were just going to celebrate our friends love but then we also found love and for that, I have no regrets. In fact, it is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. For this, and what has happened to us and between us I have you to thank. God carefully orchestrated our paths to cross.
I remember the day vividly like it was yesterday. I was sitting in the car, when I saw you walk in with the best smile I've ever had the pleasure of seeing and a pair of adorable eyes that goes perfectly with it. Not long afterwards I was told that is the best man although I wasn't the chief bride’s maid, I was one of the wedding planners. When you saw me the first thing you said was “best lady ours will be next you know” and I replied  “firstly I am not the best lady and secondly marry you just like that”. In truth deep down in my heart I was impressed; I admired your boldness and your sense of humour.  You were so much fun to be with, you made me laugh all through the wedding and before the end of the wedding you had officially asked me out. Initially, i said no but on a second thought I felt it wasn't a bad idea.

Since that day, you have brought so much joy to me that words can never explain. I never thought i would find this much joy, peace, love and friendship in just one man but then I did and every day I thank the Lord for sending you my way. This is a clear indication that we have so much in common and we are building on something that is real. There have been hard times, bad times and good times, but above all we never lost our friendship and love. I won’t trade it for anything in this world. I just want you to remember that I am always here for you whenever you need me. My beloved, every moment I spend with you has been so amazing.

You’re the one I've always dreamt of,
The one that I thought I would never find,
You are the one who speaks my language,
The one that lives in my heart, soul and mind,
You are the man who asked me to be your wife,
The one I gladly said yes to that day
You are most definitely the love of my life
The one that is here with me to stay.

I know you can’t promise even your next breathe but for every time you go out there you gotta promise me that you would do your best to come back home to me ma king.
I am sending you this as a way of expressing my love to you on your special day. Happy Birthday ma Treasure, Happy Birthday ma Hero, Happy Birthday ma Sunshine.

Love always,
Elizabeth



Saturday, August 24, 2013

CLASSY

CLASSY

We may think or assume that the word “classy” just evolved with the new generation. Some people have developed this super ego just because they think they are classy, other people have suffered a low esteem because they think they aren’t classy. Some school of thought think classy people are materialistic people; some think classy people are arrogant people, while still some others think a truly religious person should not be classy.

Classy could be defined in some ways depending on individual’s perspective. First let me clarify that “classy” has absolutely nothing to do with pride and has nothing to do with worldliness or being materialistic. Classy can be defined in some different ways based on individuals perception or understanding. Encarta dictionary defines classy as “very stylish and elegant”; another dictionary defines it as “stylish and sophisticated”. I’d say classy has no comprehensive definition. For me classy means “grace and elegance”. If asked to define it I would say, a Classy person is a person whose life and character shows self respect, dignity, elegance, sophistication and style. 

Now let me correct some fallacies about it. Being classy has absolutely nothing/nada/zit to do with: wealth, beauty, fame, achievements, educational background e.t.c. Being class is projecting what you have within you onto the outside. Being classy is not in the “what” but in the “how.” It’s how you act, how you carry yourself, how you express yourself and how you live your life that determines class.

A few people who don’t have class are able to develop that quality and become truly classy. Doing this requires reflecting on your own self, recognizing those qualities that you are missing which would make you classier and working on all the necessary areas to build that attractive flair of class and sophistication.

One might ask why bother to be classy. There is a popular quote which says “dress the way you want to be addressed”. When you know your worth and you project yourself with finesse and decorum then you are classy. Two ladies could be given the same piece of cloth with equal value it doesn’t mean everyone would appreciate the cloth on the two of them equally. What makes the different is the manner each lady wears the cloth. Being classy encompasses a lot. However, here are some fundamental qualities you must possess as a classy person.

Looking good is good business. Whether you agree with me or not, it is essential for everyone to look good. Remember without saying a word your looks already defines you. Always dress in a clean and presentable way, never wear anything you feel uncomfortable in. It is important to remember that modesty is key to earning the respect of others. Am not saying you should follow the latest fashion trends neither am not saying appreciating fashion or buying clothing you find attractive is wrong. Remember following temporary, mediocre fashion trends and fads certainly does not add to being classy. Define your own style and most importantly stay in control. The clothing you wear should enhance your personality, not create or alter it. Define your own style.

Treat people right. Classy people leave their environments in a condition at least as good as they found them. Classy people don’t look down on other people no matter their position or status. And when others do favors for them, while stuck-up or spoiled people assume it's only to be expected and ignore others' assistance, truly classy people are quick to notice and to express their gratitude and their appreciation. Never hesitate to say thank you to people even if they were just doing their jobs.

Be open to personal development. Do not berate yourself, but be receptive to constructive change. In our world, change is constant. Be a positive and flexible part of it and show others the way as well. Face life rather than burying your head in the sand and others will know instinctively that you are someone whose opinion counts.

Educate yourself. Sometimes we think education is limited to what we learn in an institution. How wrong we are. To be classy you need to have a broad knowledge on a lot of things, “real life” education, wit, sense of humour e.t.c. There is no way around it, perceived class has little weight and value if the person behind it has no interesting thoughts, opinions, views or observations. Being classy requires an ability to share, challenge ideas and be an engaging company.

Demeanour and Manners. I would say this applies more to women. A classy woman is in touch with her femininity. Her mission in life is not in challenging men and competing with men whenever possible; rather she enjoys her femininity without feeling ashamed of it, and is proud to be a woman. She recognizes the differences between men and women in psychology, physiology and sexuality and accepts those differences as the laws of nature. However, this does not stop her from being ambitions or aiming for the peck of whatever sector of life she finds herself. A classy man does not treat a woman as an inferior gender rather he shows her the love and respect due to her and he understands she also plays a significant role in the society.

Classy means Elegance. Elegance is the manner in which a person carries himself or herself in just about every situation. Elegance is in your voice, movement/body language, manner of speech, the way you stand or sit, and response to other people around you. Some of these traits, such as voice, and a walk – are part of our nature, while other elements of elegance, such as our interpersonal skills are strongly linked to our upbringing. Other qualities are acquired through habit or from friends and not all of them can be altered. However, when it comes to elegance and class, there is no such thing as small and insignificant because class is a sum of many elements of one’s personality, behaviour, and actions, some of which are more obvious than others, but all of which are essential for the “total package” to be considered elegant and classy.

Good Hygiene. Class cannot coexist with dirt, bad smell and unappealing habits such as burping, spitting in public and the likes. The most beautiful woman would lose much of her sex appeal when she farts, wipes her nose with her sleeve, keeps snots in  her nose, sits carelessly, allows her under garment to show. Same thing applies to a man who farts in public, talks loudly with food in his mouth, wipes his hands on his clothes after washing them, doesn’t wash up after taking a leak . . . and the list goes on.

Importance of Subtlety. This is one of the most important qualities and distinguishing characteristic of class. To be classy, you must be subtle in many areas of your life. Subtlety implies a degree of moderation, lack of flamboyance, lack of impulse to attract attention, and generally not trying too hard. A subtle woman has style but she doesn’t look like a designer model; she dresses sexy but does not look trashy like a typical stripper when going out; she puts such a small amount of perfume and make-up that one can barely tell that she has any; she talks just enough but certainly not too much and tends to be on a quite side; her laughter is pleasant to hear but not too loud; she hardly ever swears; and her voice is soft and sensual. A classy woman will usually come across as “low-key” in a social situation. This is not to say that she is shy or lacking confidence. On the contrary, her confidence puts her at ease and relieves her of any desire or need to validate herself to her company.

Being classy clearly requires work in these and many more avenues of one’s personality.
As you read this, am sure you must have smiled, clicked your tongue or even pause to take a quick look at yourself and asked yourself if you are classy. If you are, keep it up, if you came up short all you need is a little work, but if you aren't….well there is yet still hope for you.
Cheers.


Saturday, July 20, 2013

Be Spontaneous


A lot of people say it’s unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guaranty Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe it’s because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn't the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you. I just tried to form Boss laughter… 

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled “GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when it’s ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way. “Sure” I smiled. We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it the ATM lady - Nancy. “Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn't have to wait till Monday to see her again. “Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?” I didn't even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn't want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.“I wasn't always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang. Then her phone rang…“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kissed her.“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him. Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband saidThey have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse. I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman. I collected the I.V and promised to be there.“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost.They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn't I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my Ipad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn't even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.“Temi?” My heart raced“I know you are not coming home…”“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple“You sound different Dayo”“Maybe I’m different”“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughedShe laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Dear reader, 

I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for you both. No friends or kids allowed.

Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so damn hot? Guy! When last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Do you even have a clue on what your partner loves to do?When you ignore little things, they are the little pieces of rocks that build up to become a mountain you can’t easily break down. Pay attention to little things, believe that they work and experience new bliss!

Yours Truly,Yemi Davis:D.