EMPIRES FALL, WORDS ENDURE...

Hi friends, I was looking back on my 2015, the highs and lows. Without doubt, the experience at GIT is of some striking significance. Working with every one of you was a beautiful experience and I will continue to savour those moments we shared. I just wanted to ask you if you remember the 23rd day of September, 2015; because that day, sweet words flew around for you. You’ve forgotten? Well, don’t feign forgetfulness because you feel those words were written on some “worthless” pieces of paper amidst some affectionate end to the stay at LawPavilion for some of us. Let me remind you that as Edward Thorndike remarked,”colours fade, temples crumble, empires fall...words endure.” Those thoughts about you endure still and as the wheel of the year docks at Revelation, I am offering this piece as a reminder of the beautiful side of you. They could be keys to reflection, appraisal, and belief and so on. But do not forget that just like Anne Bradstreet noted, “sweet words are like honey, a little may refresh but too much gluts the stomach.” Therefore, do not be overwhelmed, you are far from being the finished article. Act on these words, remember Buddha when he said

“However many words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do if you do not act on them” 

I firmly believe that these words below for each individual capture, to a reasonable extent your person, so continue being the awesome being you are. I wish you a Merry Xmas and a fulfilling 2016 in advance. Continue being beautiful! Shine bright!!!! 

WORDS FOR ABIMBOLA ODUBANJO

“Your ready wit and your smiles are simply top notch” - Anonymous

“She is friendly and hardworking” - Anonymous

“On the surface, one would not fully understand who you really are. You are calm and reserved; you are one of a kind, smart, organised, well behaved, intelligent and composed. You carry out your work with diligence and commitment. Thank you for being one who could fit into any position.” - Anonymous

“I love Bimbo’s sweet nature, slim figure, beautiful smile and especially her fashionable dress sense. She is pleasant to be with and thus she is one of the people I will miss most. *kisses*”- Elekwa

“You always look sweet. I love and appreciate how you dress.” - Anonymous

“My one and only drama queen, your drama makes me day. You are such a caring sweet and nice babe.” - Damilola Dawodu

WORDS FOR BABAFEMI ADEYEYE

“Jovial, funny, witty. I would definitely miss your jokes. Don’t stop smiling. The sky is your starting point.” - Anonymous

“...ma sure guy and a good and caring friend. What I love most about him is his efficiency, dedication to work and to Taiwo. Keep it up bro.”- Elekwa

“A good friend, full of beautiful, graced and rib-cracking words. You always see the best in everyone. I will miss you.” - Anonymous

“Cheerful and funny” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR BABATUNDE SALAMI

“I think Babatude Salami dresses very well. He seems to be someone who cares about how he looks and takes the time to put himself together. It is admirable to see a young man who understands that he should dress like where he is going” - Anonymous

“I’ve always admired you from school, you are such a gentleman. Never let go of that part of you it’s really beautiful. I think guys should come and learn from you. And you are such a humble man.” - Damilola Dawodu

WORDS FOR BUKOLA

“Bukola is wonderfully efficient at her work. Errors never escape her. I especially admire the fact that whatever errors she finds, she lists them out orderly and thereafter presents the “shopping list” to the defaulter without making a fuss about it or making the person feel like an idiot.”- Elekwa

“...my mentor. Just brilliant. I love you like that!” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR BOLAJI

“Thanks for your concern and care. She is so humble, I love you sis.” - Anonymous

“I like the way you talk” - Damilola Dawodu

WORDS FOR DAYO FASINA

“Thanks for being kind.” - Anonymous

“Baba D, your words and gesticulations make me smile. Thank you GIT; take home to mama.” - Anonymous

“Shout out to Baba Dee, I love your suits o. Olenu jare.”- Elekwa

“You are down to earth and one of a kind.” - Damilola Dawodu

WORDS FOR DAMILOLA AKINTUNDE

“A ready smile and a usual troublemaker” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR DAMILOLA ADEDIRAN

“...is such a cute guy. He dresses well.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR DAMILOLA DAWODU

“My ever-packaged love in GIT, please keep up being you always, the real you. Miss you plenty.” - Anonymous

“I simply love the way Damilola Dawodu walks; she walks like a model. She also has a lovely smile. I’m tripping for you Dami. *kisses*” – Elekwa

“Love your heels and your beautiful dresses. I admire your efficient attitude towards work.” - Anonymous

“...reserved, intelligent and deep. One needs to get close to unearth the treasure that you are.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR EBUNOLUWANIMI

“I love your vivacious smile. I love how forthcoming you are with things. I LOVE YOU SIS” - Anonymous

“In you, I saw the demonstration and display of love without discrimination. You are loved.” - Anonymous

“Esohe! You are good at creating remarkable moments. You are indeed a total package. Keep it real!” - Anonymous

“You are one of the women I always want to meet. Your focus and love for God are really inspiring.”-Damilola Dawodu

“Caring” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR EBUKA OKAFOR

“You encouraged me to study my bible in the office by your example. Nice one bro” - Anonymous

“Pastor Ebuka is a conformist, admirably.”- Samuel

“Ebuka is WHAO! He’s gonna make a very faithful and dependable friend.” - Anonymous

“My one and only pastor, you are so gentle a king. I like the way you remind me to write everyday so I can become a good writer. I will make you proud someday soon.”- Damiloa Dawodu

WORDS FOR ELEKWA

“My assistant boyfriend, I love you so. You would always have a reason to smile. Continue to be the joy in our hearts.” - Anonymous

“Your comic personality is one I admire. Some might call you noise maker (no be me talk am o) but your presence in any gathering means no dull moment.” - Anonymous

“You are good-natured but playful” - Anonymous

“Indeed you earned being called the senior Annotator. Your intelligence, dedication and commitment to your work are outstanding. You balance work and play with so much ease, not compromising the standard and quality of your work.” - Anonymous

“Cheerful” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR FIYINFOLUWA

“A beautiful and a lovely soul. A ready smile and a willing help. Thanks a bunch. I LOVE YA. Goodbye is hard to say to the matriarch of our family.” - Anonymous

“...I don’t know why I didn’t have many conversations with you. For some reason, I have always wanted to do that but never got around to it. I hope you stay quietly charming, and you keep being there for others.” - Anonymous

“Why are you so cute?” - Damilola Dawodu

WORDS FOR FEMI HASSAN

“A great guy with a beautiful soul. Thank you so much.” - Anonymous

“Kind hearted personality. Your kind gestures will be missed.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR FOLAKE HASSAN

“There are quite a number of people that I will love to appreciate and eulogize for their love since I got to GIT. However, I think Folake stands out strikingly for her dedication. She carries out her duties with so much happiness. Never frowning not complaining. I wish her all the best in her future endeavours. You are highly appreciated. I celebrate you” – Olayinka Oladeji

“I appreciate you so much. I love you so much. Thank you for getting my meal with your wonderful smile. THANK YOU SO MUCH SIS” - Anonymous 

“Folake is an ANGEL” - Anonymous 

WORDS FOR GBOYEGA

“Uncle Gboyega, the OAU circle, thanks for your ready wit and ability to make me smile.” - Anonymous

“I love the playful part of you” - Damilola Dawodu

WORDS FOR IBUKUN BADMUS

“To our dear Chief Editor, Ibukun a.k.a. Madam High heels, keep rocking those heels.”- Elekwa

WORDS FOR IFEOLUWA OGUNWALE

“Dressing on point at all times. Takes everything easily with a smile. Freely speaks to everyone. Dedicated to his work. One thing i admire about you is that you are always cheerful and full of life.” - Anonymous

“Thanks for that prayer about greener pasture. I can’t forget it. Thanks for making the office lively.” - Anonymous

“A brother and a friend. A day won’t pass without you asking after my wellbeing. I would definitely miss you” - Anonymous

“I noticed the sweet and caring part of you, the first day I got to GIT. I’m glad I met you. I like your voice too.” - Damilola Dawodu

WORDS FOR LILY-CAROL

“Thanks for being a real help. You helped with your car, your magazines comments and smiles.” - Anonymous

“This thought is about Lily. What makes her stand out I how quiet she is and yet she gets her job done effectively, apparently without fuss. It’s a quality I appreciate and would love to emulate. Will I be able to? I think not. Lol.”- Samuel

“My wonderful friend who is always ready to give her listening hear, remember that you re beautiful, smart intelligent and a very virtuous woman.” Ifedayo Ogunwale

“...reserved, intelligent and deep. One needs to get close to unearth the treasure that you are.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR LEYE

“My twin sister’s crush. Continue to live your dreams. *much smiles*” - Anonymous

“...I love how you eat Ponmo and drink coke almost every day. Also, you are a nice and easy-going young person. Thanks for the kilishi” -Elekwa

WORDS FOR MODUPE ADEYEMI

“It’s wow to see you evolve so fast. Love you sis. Thanks for getting my lunch.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR MADAM 'TUTU OF LIFE'

“I love your homeliness and plain-heartedness. Keep it up” - Anonymous

“...you are admired for your industrious nature and willingness to learn.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR MADAM DEBOLA

“Madam Debola’s dress sense is charming”- Samuel

WORDS FOR MADAM BOLANLE

“Madam Bolanle is just good like that. Your warmth and friendliness are priceless.” - Anonymous

“I’m your secret admirer. You are such a beautiful woman.” - Damilola Dawodu

“I have great respect for Madam Bolanle. I think she’s got a very good heart.”-Samuel

WORDS FOR MADAM JUMOKE

“Wow!!! What a wonderful world where I have found a lovely, cute sis, just don’t know how to describe her....like the way she talks, love the way she chats with people with her sexy voice and most especially, the way she smiles...love you dear, gonna miss you.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR MONICA

“I love Monica’s horrible laughter and her constant “boning face”. I love the fact that she has given me Tom Tom and Baba Blue wella” -Elekwa

WORDS FOR OLUWATODIMU ADEKEYE

“A nice and well-mannered young man. Keep it up.” - Anonymous

“...SOS of GIT! Your work rate is scary! One hardly knows when you are under pressure. Indeed, you are GIT’s undisputable MVP.” - Anonymous

“I cannot help but announce how gentle a man you are!” - Damilola Dawodu

“...Todimu is another guy I have huge respect for. He does not flinch at the talk of target or under whatsoever form of pressure. He’s got some thick skin.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR REBECCA

“An amazing lady that amazes me. Many things catch her interest from politics to football and of course, law” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR SAMUEL SOLADOYE

“Exceptional in every way. Your attitude to work is worthy of emulation. Despite all the pressure that came with the job, you remained calm and still carried out your assignments with enthusiasm. You were entrusted with so much at the same time and you never failed at anyone. You understand the definition of teamwork and team spirit. Without knowing it, you taught me a lot of things which I would always carry on with me. I know you are going places and the sky is your starting point.” - Anonymous

“Cool, gentle, always ready to help. That humble personality of yours is taking you all the way to the top.” - Anonymous

“Your parents trained you well. You are a well brought up young man.” - Anonymous

“I call you “Big Sam” because of your huge intelligence. If you keep up your attitude and charisma, there is no doubt you are bound to be great.” - Anonymous

“He is respectful, he is nice. He is patient; there is no number of times you call him in respect of a case that he won’t answer you.” - Anonymous

“I love Sam’s efficiency and dedication to work even in the face of sickness. I love his girlfriend too.” - Anonymous

“...you are admired for your calm and pleasing personality” - Anonymous

“humility-personified, wonderful personality” - Anonymous

“...your diligence, zeal and passion are commendable. Proud to be associated with you, brother. Brother sly!” - Anonymous

“You are terribly different from what I thought of you when I first saw you. You are so humble, nice and down to earth.” - Damilola Dawodu

“Very polite”

WORDS FOR SEYI FUNMI SOYEMI

“You dress well, you are classy, beautiful and confident but you can be tough at times. Lol” - Anonymous

“You are my “Big boo”. It’s been awesome working with you.” - Anonymous

“..., beneath your firm, sometimes harsh stance is a good heart. You never take it personal. Your maturity is top notch” - Anonymous

“Well, I’m not surprised you are smart, spiritual and beautiful. Ode-Remo babes are born to be totally packaged women. As much as you like to form tough, you are all sugar spice and everything nice on the inside.” - Damilola Dawodu

“...It would be untrue if I say I enjoyed it all through, that I never gave quitting a thought. What got me through this is that there is a line between who you really are and being professional. The hallmark of that attribute is Seyi Soyemi. It’s a part of her that I think, is really unique and adorable.” - Samuel

WORDS FOR SINMILOLUWA MAKINDE

“Very very dedicated vibrant young man. Always eager and ready to work with so much joy. You do have a good heart. God bless you.” - Anonymous

“My one and only Mr. Ije. You bring out the playful part of me, I like it when you listen to my gist and laugh really hard with me You made staying here really fun, Maybe I will miss you.” - Damilola Dawodu

“Humble and respectful” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR TAIWO ALADEJANA

“T-Tolerable, A-Admirable, I- Intelligent (very), W-Wonderful, O-Organized, will miss you. Your left side seatee, UCHE”

“Good-hearted, caring, full of kindness, cheerful giver. Thank God I met you! You’ll be missed.” - Anonymous

“Aladejana Taiwo is 1. Very generous, 2. Kind 3. Easy to talk with 4. Caring 5. Efficient at work.....I don’t remember her being called upon to correct errors in her work many times. She has been a dear friend and I would definitely miss her. *kisses*”- Elekwa

“Cheerful, nice and loving” - Anonymous

“To my beautiful namesake, it’s hard to say goodbye to you who has been less of a co-worker and more of a friend. I’m sad that the joyride of working with you has come to an end. I will miss you my colleague, friend and sister, Taiwo Aladejana. I ask for God’s speed, favour, grace and mercy in all your endeavours.” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR TIMOTHY BAMGBOYE

“Oga Timo, I like your attitude to work; he wasn’t ever late to work.” - Anonymous

“You never came late to work. You do your work diligently. You have a good working relationship with people. Hope you and Sam remain “sly brothers” - Anonymous

“You are going to be a good lawyer. Your questions!!! OMG!!!!!!” - Damilola Dawodu

”Very friendly” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR TOMI OGUNDIJI

“Thanks for helping with your knowledge” - Anonymous

“Tomilayo’s gentleness, patience and perseverance under provocation is worth emulating. You are greatly favoured.” - Anonymous

“Tomi is simply one of a kind. She is the most gentle person in this office. I love the way she smiles all the time. Since I started working here, I never heard her shout or snap at anybody, even when she finds errors in their work. She has a kind heart and I’m sure she would make a damn good wife. May I propose?”-Elekwa

WORDS FOR TOMIWA ILORI

“Cool and calm” - Anonymous

WORDS FOR UCHE EZEUKUNNE

“I love your smile, you are simply wonderful and amazing. Continue to burn for Christ. See you at the top.” - Anonymous

“I think Uche Ezeukunne is a beautiful person both inside and out. It is obvious that she loves God and is always so respectful and kind. She always has a smile on her face. It’s beautiful to see.” - Anonymous

“You are such a sweet and pleasant woman”- Damilola Dawodu

“It is actually difficult to pick out one person out of us all but for the purpose of this occasion I choose UCHE. She is nice, very respectful and I also fell in love with her stepping, her attitude is noteworthy, her smile, perfect...”- Madam ‘Jumoke

WORDS FOR YEWANDE SONOWO

“My wonderful namesake, a lady with a open heart and a ready smile. I LOVE YOU SO” - Anonymous

“You have a very good smile and I love the way you smell, as in you smell really lovely.” - Anonymous

“I love Yewande’s figure: slim shapely and sexy. Plus she’s a good cook. I remember the first time I tasted her food (it was a day before our engagement) mehn! That food was the bomb. It made me fall in love with her all over again...*kisses*...abeg no vex say I expose the fact say we dey engaged. I no fit hide am anymore ni.”- Elekwa

WORDS FOR YOMI OLAYIWOLA

“You helped me to become an analyst by all means, power and opportunity you had. Thanks a lot, I love you and will always remember what you did” - Anonymous

Compiled by:

SAMUEL SOLADOYE

ELVANDER SMITH: A BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART

It was the eve of the Hallowed Day. It was my third year in the University of Colorado studying the African American experience in the United States from 1863 to the 21st century. The events of that night shaped my understanding of the essence of life; my approach to things and I would love to share some thoughts with you.

During my first few months, being my first time away from my home country (Nigeria), I felt very lonely. I called it my “JJC Syndrome”. All that changed very soon thereafter. I found a friend in Elvander. Like every being out there, he was not free of his shortcomings but he was the most amazing talent I have ever seen. Above all, he was warm-hearted and very much forgiving. Like most Jamaicans, he loved good music. His talent was as to how crafty and creative he was with the art of ceramics. In a mini-workshop he had carved out of his suite, he would ‘serve’ himself reggae and set to work. His ingenuity remains incomparable. He made a living out of his passion; the peak of it. Everyone recognised his talent and he became a grand star on campus.

As Halloween approached that year, the most anticipated event was the much-publicized Award Night which was now seen as a traditional show before bonfire. I was convinced that the most coveted award of “Colorado’s finest” which, usually, goes to the most distinguished student would go to Elvander. On that day, around 4pm, I called Elvander, teased him and congratulated him in anticipation of what I regarded as an open secret. He disagreed with strong conviction. He said “Leo, not me, it is something else.” I laughed it off. Something?

He came to the event in midnight blue tux. He looked graceful. When the time came for Colorado’s finest to be announced, I saw him, quite unusually, showing some nerves. I understood. I had felt same way a year earlier when I won the award. Surprisingly, Mr. Blackstone, the event organiser, called Elvander to come on stage to hand out the award. It was even more baffling because that was my place. It was traditional that the holder would hand it out to their successor. Elvander was all smiles though. Mr. Blackstone then announced. He said:

“It has been a special year. Now to Colorado’s finest.” He paused, smiling and then started again

“It has been a landmark year for Elvander but this award goes to another. The winner is Elvander Smith.”

Convention had been breached in all ways; beautifully breached. Everyone who stood in the Alexander Dumbarton Hall that day was lost for words, for answers, for explanation as to how this beauty had come to be. It was a work of art beautifully made. The award had gone to a work of art made by Elvander. He called it Elvander Smith. It was his first name and that of his late brother. As it was unveiled, there was no sound of applause. We were all caught in that moment of amazement. I joined Elvander on stage to congratulate him. I whispered into his ears, asking “Elv, why Elvander?” That question was as to why he would name the 8th wonder of the world after himself. It was a glittering oval ceramic structure. Elvander had been working on a secret project for months; there it stood. “You will get to know why soon” he replied. But “soon” came ten years after. Elvander took to the podium to deliver the acceptance speech which he said he was on behalf of the winner, Elvander Smith.

“Elvander Smith represents my life; how we should see life. I....” As he said those words, Elvander slumped. That memory lingers in my head and brings agony. That day, I lost my best friend at an event where he was to be celebrated. I held on to it as further light being thrown on how unfair life could be.

Upon the completion of my study, I traveled back home to Nigeria. It took me ten years to uncover the mysteries behind the last words of Elvander. That day, Mr. Blackstone had called me. The Association of Jamaican Students on campus in partnership with the Elvander Foundation which I was one of the pioneer members decided to open a Museum in honour of Elvander. My pursuit of a legacy to immortalise the memory of Elvander had finally come to fruition. I attended the opening of the Museum. It was located where Elvander’s apartment was. An excerpt from a copy of the speech he had prepared that night had been engrained on the wall just beside the waxed image of Elvander. In it I found my answer. It reads:

“...Elvander Smith is a beautiful piece now. I am pretty sure you all love it. But three months ago, it was lying as clay on the coast. As I packed it, a woman called it dirty. It was dug up the ground during construction of a building in town and was thrown on the seashore. I made a tray out of it but it broke after days. I packed it up and deemed it not good enough until I thought to give it a better try. Through those three months, it took hard work coupled with ideas and intense fire from the kiln to get here. Now, it is a winner. It is not unbreakable but it would take added intensity than a mere fall before it gets broken. And if it ever gets broken, who says it cannot rise to be even better again.”

Tears rolled. I knew of his struggles. Those few words gave meaning to his life and I deciphered how I should perceive life. Of course, the cause of his death remains unfathomable, at least to me, as I could not make sense of all medical terminologies used in the post-mortem analysis but his life gave value to my existence.

We all desire a better life. No, we desire glittering fortunes. If you ever need strength going forward, remember that, like Elvander Smith, you could be struggling today but with hard work, ideas and perseverance, you will surely get there. You need to be strong enough not get broken by every fall because it is really going to be challenging out there. But if you ever get broken, a better end could be in the offing for you. You simply need B.E.L.I.E.F. To me, Elvander Smith lives forever.

Written by:

Samuel Soladoye

MESSAGE TO MY FRIEND: HAPPINESS LEAVES NO SCARS BUT...

Hi friend, it is elementary knowledge that life would not be a smooth-sail all through. When the patchy times roll by, remember this...

I got the 10th day of July off work. Getting a rare break from work was received with a fist pump. It was a Friday, during the rainy season in Southern Nigeria and as I carefully worked out a schedule to maximize my “long break”, my mobile phone rang; it was my best friend, Happiness, calling. Like me, she viewed the break as an opportunity to spend time with loved ones, especially with those she had fond memories of and believed strongly she had etched her mark in their hearts. Happiness’ tenderness is immeasurable and comparable to none. She represents the saintly hallmark of altruism. She has given so much to our friendship, she’s been there for all around me and I have only been able to offer just a little in return. As I answered her call, I felt her running through my marrows. It is needless to say “I love her”; hiding that feeling is like trying to whistle and sip a glass of Hennessey simultaneously without the former getting in the way of the latter. I promised to see her come Saturday, with the aim of conquering the coyness in me and telling her how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

As I glided down through the stairs hoping to catch a cab in time to see the much-anticipated Wimbledon semi-final clash between home-favourite Andy Murray and the evergreen, Roger Federer, I ran into the much-maligned “Sadness”; he was the biggest rival of my beloved Happiness. He is always the talk of the town and would persistently hurt Happiness’ hosts; I therefore thought I had the perfect understanding of my running into him. I swore not to give him a chance. But that day, surprisingly, he was smiling, he was bearing a gift and was without his sword with which he pierces hearts, leaving scars. He offered me the gift which he promised was from my friend, Happiness. I reluctantly accepted it and told him “gerrarahere”. I tore through the pack, knowing the situation was bewildering but I waived it. She had sent a “Rolex Oyster Perpetual GMT-Master II”. I grinned. I was elated.

I altered my plans. I decided to surprise Happiness by bringing the people she had spent so much time with to “Amor” where I would propose to her the next day. I visited Paul to invite him over. I could not tell Paul of my intent to propose to Happiness because he was reeling from a loss. He had fought Sadness and had been left with a deep cut. That was all he talked about. I wanted to tell him of how good a healer Happiness is but he would not let me. I sought to remind him of all the good times she had brought us through the years but Paul’s spirit was broken. I had to leave.

I visited 30 other friends but they all talked about Sadness as well as the scars he had left on them or their loved ones and would not even remember what Happiness had brought them in the past. I walked home dejected. Happiness was waiting at my door. She was crying. I had never seen her cry. IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took her in my arms and dried her tears. I told her I wanted her to stay forever. She spoke up thereafter, telling me she had my Rolex bugged and having listened to my conversations with our mutual friends, she became heartbroken knowing her friends would not even remember all the wonderful times they had together, that she had come to me because she felt I am different. She reminded me of the good times but I was enraged. I asked, continuously, why she had bugged a supposed gift. I pushed her out of my arms. I felt she had breached our trust and I could barely remember the good times. I felt they never mattered again. And as she walked away, I saw Sadness smiling; he told me he had carved a scar in me without a sword. I felt deeply hurt. As Happiness walked away, she said some words which I would love to share with you. She told me that her deepest regret is that unlike Sadness, she leaves no scars and as a result, in times of conflict, she is rarely remembered; that we tend to remember our scars and not the sensations we felt when we were with her; that it is only a friend that betrays; that it is only a loved one that hurts; that in times of adversity, I should learn to remember prosperity and see beyond today.

My friend, you should know that we have all chased happiness away at one time or the other but she is very persistent, she would not give up on us and she is forgiving. She has refused to stay with me forever but she is disposed to visiting frequently subject to my convenience.

Even though she leaves no scars, remember the good times and usher her in. And as I go, I leave you with the words of Groucho Marx:

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I am going to be happy...”

I SEE GOD

Some have queried, asking if there was in existence a God who could be responsible for all we see. While some others have erred, stating that such existent Deity does not exist...to their gross folly they have been left.

Questions flying from one angle to another, answers trying to find expression through the lips of those who know or who think they know. Some have sought to unravel this mystery but have found more mysteries and confusion while some others simply believe and find amazing discoveries through their faith.

I may not have traversed the whole universe or have all the world's experiences or belong to a cognoscenti but in all, I see God.

I see God...

...in the innocent beautiful smile of a child...in the unseen moments of aging

...in the trembling tremors of an earthquake.

I see God...

...in the gentle sway and crispy crunch of summer leaves
...in the quiet symphony of night and day
...in the lulling orchestra of the chirping choristers of the night.

I see God...

...in the thunderous voices of a rainstorm
...in the gentle caress of the morning breeze
...in the linear mystery of the language of the palms.

I see God...

...in the echoes of a wind sweeping through the forest
...in the rhyming patterns of desert dunes
...in the painful pleasure of childbirth.

I see God...

...in the inexplicable strange feeling of deja vu
...in the immortal balance of life and death
...in the twinkling shimmers of the sky's diamonds.

I see God...

...in the idyllic setting of nature's serenity
...in the splatter of gold, mud and dust
...in the sturdy bonds of affection.

I see God...

...in the hidden mysteries of an enigma
...in the passion of love and the love of passion
...in the fear of death and the death of fear.

I see God...

...in the quiet nudging of the loud voice of conscience
...in the weakness of the mighty and the strength of the meek
...in the wealth of poverty and poverty of wealth.

I see God...

...in the uncanny wisdom of the sages
...in the merciful melody of the music of forgiveness
...in the perfect imperfection of man.

I see God...

....in the beauty of you and I.


Written by

Akinlowo Olawoye

Beauty in Hugs

I was a shy reserved kid. I never liked to mingle or spend so much time with other kids, I preferred to just talk to a few close friends even at that I still kept a lot of distance. I didn’t like to hold hands or hug anyone if you try to hug me I would just stand there stiff wishing it would just be over already. My sister wasn’t so much different from me either. If anyone tries to hug her she would push the person away and yell “stop hugging me” . . . (by the way I think she still does that sometimes . . . lol). I remember our mum scolding her a few times when she does that. My mum would always say "its just a simple expression of love". Well not that we don’t hug at all but it was never something we really did. For me I usually felt I wasn't capable of connecting with other people so I wasn't willing to let people into my life. As a result of this I built a brick wall of defence around me that kept closeness or feelings at arm’s length. 

However, all these began to change in my final year in the university and law school when I met some awesome friends who believed so much in love and affection. They are the kind of friends who would look out for you, care for you, stand by you, and love you at all times even when you think you don’t deserve it. At first I would tell them I don’t do love, am a rigid person and I don’t know how to reciprocate kind gestures. They would joke and say “Seyi is allergic to love” but this didn't stop them from teaching me to understand that there is no harm in letting people in or showing emotions. Little by little, I started to soften to their hugs. The transformation was so slow and subtle that I didn't even notice. With them I learnt the beauty in hugs. 

Let’s take a real deep look into the beauty of a hug. A hug can break down barriers that sometimes words cannot do. At times a hug can speaks more than words can. We bond with a hug. We find comfort with a hug. We greet and separate from each other with a hug. We establish human contact and interaction with a hug. The beauty of a hug is in its simplicity. It costs nothing but a simple act of caring and kindness. A hug takes you in and comforts you, a hug allows you to let go of all the overwhelming pondering thoughts for just a few seconds. You can call it the “Letting Go Hug”, to let go of the surrounding environment, to let go of all your worries, to let go of all your walls. There are days when you don’t really want to talk about what you are going through but all you really want is a hug from a friend. I have a friend and colleague who is a great hugger, once you are enveloped in the warmth of her arms you feel like the world has gone to sleep as you have woken up internally. A few of my friends are great huggers too and these are my “lifetime” friends.

Parents, how often do you hug your children? I mean really ‘a hug’. Have you held your kid close to your heart for few moments so he feels your love without you having to say a word? We may prepare food for our children, drive them around, take them to the movies, buy them toys and treats, but nothing registers as deeply as a simple squeeze, cuddle, or pat on the back.

Allow your guards down for a few seconds, take a breath of fresh air and let your hair down, there is no harm in a hug, and there is always beauty within that which is expressed in its rawest of forms between two people. If you are a hugger, keep all huggers close for the days in which that is all you really need. A quote by Jill Wolf “Hugs don’t need new equipment, special batteries or parts – just open up your arms and open up your hearts”.

By the way, my little bro I owe you a big bear hug for the images.

BEAUTY IN BROKENNESS

 It crashed to the floor, breaking into an explosion of pieces. Utterly irreparable. My sister’s favourite ceramic teaspoon, now I searched the floor for the scattered pieces of what was left of the adorable spoon. “Should have been more careful,” I muttered to myself.  I had visited her office and asked to have some tea, to which she handed me her mug and spoon. Distracted by what I was doing, I had forgotten I had the spoon with me and in a clumsy manner I dropped the spoon to the floor. “Maybe I should glue it back” that was the first thought that came to me. But I knew better that it would take so much work and still never be the same. Often, it takes too much work to fix what is broken. It takes too much work to try to restore. It’s easier to just buy a new one.

Ever felt that way? Broken. Shattered. Unwanted. Tossed aside. Disappointed. Ashamed. Thrown away. Or barely holding on. Life is messy. Life is hard. Life could be broken. There are no guarantees and we all mess up sometimes, we hurt those we love most. However we also love hard, and deep, and we forgive and we give second chances. Sometimes we lose our grip and everything just comes crashing down. Then you feel totally broken into many pieces. You feel the brokenness is beyond repair, you feel the need to hide the scar or you feel like just throwing it away and getting a new one. But life is not like a thing we can toss away and get a new. We have to fix the break and bring out a new beauty.

The heart of it all - turning what is broken into beautiful, cherished pieces, by sealing the cracks and crevices with lines of fine gold. Instead of hiding the flaws, Kintsugi artists highlight them, creating a whole new design and bringing unique beauty to the original piece. The pottery actually becomes more beautiful and valuable in the restoration process because, though it was once broken, it not only has history, but a new story. Can we begin to see our brokenness as a blessing rather than a curse, a beauty mark rather than a scar, a new beginning rather than the end? Unfortunately, we are too often caught up in the mirage of wholeness, the mistaken belief that a perfect outer shell will make us more lovable, more acceptable, more in control. The scars of life, the healed wounds, the deep lines, the broken dreams, the failed promises, the deception, they all have stories to tell. Yet often we try to hide them away, preferring instead to present to the world, a safe façade of who we are, a more “perfect” version. It’s too difficult to risk the real vulnerability of exposing what once was. Or what still is.

Yet God breaks through all that mess. You are never beyond healing. You are never too broken for restoration. You are never too shattered for repair. Do not be ashamed of your scars, of the deep crevices that line your soul, or the broken places of your life. They have an amazing story to tell. Brokenness has the power, unlike anything else, to bring forth new beauty, strength, and inspiration to others. Because it’s often in those moments that we’ve tasted deep suffering, that we noticed, we were made for more. Two songs come to mind as I write this piece. “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength” by Whitney Houston and “You Haven't Seen the Last of Me” by Cher. Beauty isn’t always lit up like a rainbow, but often found in the quiet, small, still corners of life.  And when we find it, we are changed. Search for the beauty in your life. It might be the warm hug from a good friend, the gentle smile from a stranger, the little word of encouragement, or even the slight pat on the shoulder. Beauty is still there.

We are all shattered in one way or another. We are all incomplete, missing pieces here and there. But we are all beautiful. In fact, we are more beautiful because of it. Who wants polished perfection that belies the truth of what's inside when you can have the raw power of beauty that's broken because it has lived and loved and lost and carried on in spite of it all? Be broken and be beautiful.

In A Better Place Now!

So I watched you last Wednesday night as you drew your last breath. Minutes before then, you had asked for water and I became very afraid. So I refused to give you the water you asked for. It was cruel and selfish of me. Yes, selfish. I had seen so many children pass minutes after their drink and so I couldn’t bear to give you the ‘last’ drink.  I watched you the Saturday before as you gasped for breath and literally fought death to a standstill, you wanted to live; but death refused to go away, it stood in the hallway waiting for Wednesday  night when you were your weakest. It waited till you were tired and could barely lift your hands or mutter a coherent statement. Death waited till our hopes were raised on the mountain of faith only to crash it into the dust of despair. Death took you away from me.

I remember when you were born. I was 21. I sure was not ready to be a father but I was glad you were born. You brought with you a freshness of life, a part of heaven clung to you. When I first laid eyes on you  2 months after, I knew you were mine; I was in awe as I held you, a part of me, another me. You looked so innocent and adorable, helplessly beautiful. You grew so fast, bigger than your age. No one ever believed you were only 4 at that time; someone actually thought you were 8. I smiled because I saw myself. September 2013 was the beginning of the end, you had grown a little boil in your right eye (so we thought) but would never have thought it was Neuroblastoma, the oncologists said it was cancer of the nerves. My inside was shredded into a million places as the words dropped from the lips of the doctor that day but I never saw death, I believed you will come out of it, that you were a survivor. Indeed you were. You became an outpatient in LUTH but the most popular kid in the ward, they all called you Professor Joel ‘cause you knew the chemotherapy drugs, penthazocine, the painkiller you often cried out for when the mind-numbing headaches came. You were well-accustomed to the process of line-setting as you would often tell the doctors to tie the  tourniquet on a particular arm and ‘tap’ the veins there (you had thought it made the needle prick less painful) before they inserted  the scary needles into you. You were a fighter who in the midst of the  pains that ravaged your body and stole your childhood, you still found joy in making your mum smile, you would dance and ask her to play your favorite song. You were a fighter who loved to be happy and would always deploy your little sense of humour to crack up the children in the ward and their parents. You were a fighter who cared for others.

Wednesday, 7th January, 2015 was like every other day, I went to work and would in my usual manner go to LUTH to check on you. There was no telling, it was going to be your last. As your hand interwove that of your mother’s, your grip was tight, but she had to pull away to call the doctors to attend to you, but you would not let go. Eventually, I replaced her hand with mine but then your breathing was slowing down, so it was barely a grip anymore. My eyes followed your breathing as the knot in my throat tightened and I prayed it was not what I was thinking. But right before my eyes, you threw in the towel, you took death’s hand and you journeyed away.

It’s been 5 nights and 4 days since you left and it still feels like a bad dream I have refused to awake from. It’s been 5 nights of  grief and silent reverie. Your mum has been the worst hit, she was always with you even at those times you had lost your sight and would wonder if anyone was beside you. She was strong for you, she never gave up for one day; you had told her not to be afraid. Now, she would look at your clothes and playthings then the tears would flow but then not so much in grief but in admiration of the little wonder you were. Of how you would sit beside her in the kitchen and ask for a piece of dried fish, of how you would pull down your pants and tell her that she should allow you sag, just for that day and of how you would call out to her only to tell her ‘I love you.’ She loved you recklessly.

Joel, I am shattered because I was not there when you were born and I was afar off for most part of your life, yet I watched you die. I am shattered because I could not afford to give you the best things of  life for my little means could only carry me so far. I am distraught because you went through so many nights, tongue-tied by blinding pain and the cancer cells that contorted your skull and face. I am angry at myself because I could have done more, I could have been more for you. I am sorry. But I feel encouraged by the love many have shown me (you) though I kept you away from them for so long a time. They prayed that you may live, they had faith that you could live again after you passed, they prayed for strength to bear the loss of you. I am sad but joyful. Though I lost you to a terrible cancer, I find joy in the fact  that you are at ease, in peace and would never suffer again. I know your words to your mum will be for her to wipe her tears and to ‘Little’ (your aunt Queen), would be that you would give her your mobile phone if she could only smile for you, again; and to Joy (your other aunt), to dance a little for you just so you could laugh. I  would give anything in this world to fist bump you again. I will always  love you Joel, my son.

Death only won the battle, but you sure won the war. You are in a better place now. Adieu.

Akinlowo Olawoye