Embracing the Unknown: My Journey into 2024

On this beautiful Saturday morning, as I sip my freshly brewed tea and watch my favorite series, I find myself in deep reflection. The calmness I feel is a stark contrast to the hot weather that plagued Ibadan throughout December 2023, a month that presented its own set of challenges.

Replacing my faulty rechargeable fan proved to be one of the best decisions of 2023. Coping with the scorching weather and erratic power supply became more manageable, showcasing how little decisions can bring immense comfort.

As the clock struck midnight on December 31, 2023, I stood at the intersection of reflection and anticipation, a single lady in her early 40s. The air was pregnant with a unique blend of excitement and uncertainty, creating emotions mirroring the complexities of my life. The year gone by had seen its share of triumphs and trials, weaving threads of family concerns, career decisions, relationship balancing, spiritual exploration, and the pursuit of independence.

The relentless ticking towards 2024 echoed in my thoughts, each tick representing the rhythm of my life. The prospect of navigating life's twists and turns alone stirred courage and vulnerability within me.

As I stood amidst the joyous cheers and the dazzling fireworks lighting up the night sky, thoughts of what 2024 might unfold for me filled my mind. Would it unfold with love, adventure, and delightful surprises, or would it present challenges, testing the strength I've carefully built over the years? I am grateful to God, my parents, and my family for the valuable lessons learned. With mixed feelings, I entered 2024, driven by my strong faith in God, my love for God an unwavering sense of self-determination.

At this stage of life, I've cultivated the art of embracing my single status with both grace and resilience, pushing back against pressures. My profound self-love has led me to explore my passions, chase career aspirations, and find beauty in moments of solitude. However, echoes of expectations persist, intertwined with the challenges of managing work pressure, setting goals for the year, yearning for companionship, and contemplating the prospect of a family.

As the first rays of sunlight graced me in January 2024, I resolved to drown out the noise and script my narrative. The canvas of 2024 awaited my artistic touch. It wasn't a continuation; it was an opportunity to redefine success, relationships, and personal fulfillment on my terms.

Though January is nearly over and my painting for the year incomplete, I've chosen bold strokes—drawing closer to God, valuing relationships, setting ambitious yet realistic career goals, embracing self-love, resilience, and a renewed sense of purpose.

The mixed feelings that accompanied me transformed into a palette of emotions, propelling me towards new heights. As January unfolded, I embraced self-reflection and goal-setting, understanding that life's beauty lies in its unpredictability.

Journeying into 2024, I'm a testament to the strength within a single woman in her 40s. I relish the freedom to choose my path, savoring independence and the promise of endless possibilities. My mixed feelings have morphed into a symphony of emotions, playing the soundtrack to my evolving story.

In 2024, I'll stand tall, face whatever comes my way, and celebrate my journey as a testament to resilience, embracing life in all its vibrancy. I am the author of my story, and 2024 is the canvas on which I'll paint my masterpiece. My mixed feelings will be a source of empowerment, fueling my pursuit of excellence, marked by career achievements, personal growth, building better relationships, and continued self-love.

COUNTING THE YEARS WITH GRATITUDE

When I clocked 35 years old I was not sure how I felt. I actually had mixed feelings about it. Ok, originally, my thought was that 35 does not have quite the same ring to it that 25 had...or even 28 or 30! When we were younger, most of us knew that having a birthday meant having a birthday party, getting treated special, not getting in trouble and getting presents. When I was younger I could not wait to be older but now as the years fly I sometimes wish I could put life into slow motion … lol.

This morning I took a long, hard look in the mirror. I gasped at the few strands of grays I could see in my hair. And as I got dressed for work it occurred to me that there is a beauty that comes with getting older. I should not be shy when asked my age. I should answer confidently with a smile on my face and gratefulness in my heart. Today I have been given the precious gift of another year and I do not have mixed feelings because I know exactly how I feel. Yeah it’s my birthday …. *winks*… and as much as I don’t celebrate or do all the drama that comes with birthdays I thought a good way to celebrate the day is by writing a beautiful piece. 

Today I am glad for the years of living each and every day as ME. Every age ... every stage ... of this lifetime. Every single step I took toward something or someone. Every single step I took away. It’s amazing how every memory is sewn right into the very fabric of who we are. It’s captivating that my mind can sometimes flash back to my childhood, adolescence and adulthood, awakening parts and pieces of me that bring me back to that very day, that very moment, that very emotion. 

Every day, women younger than me are dying of some form of sickness or the other. I know others whose lives have been cut short due to accidents or some other unthinkable, or unexpected tragedy. So I am truly blessed to have another year of life. By complaining of my age, I'm complaining about a privilege ... being allowed to live another year and enjoy life. That kind of complaint doesn't make sense to me. And so, instead of complaining about the inevitable effects of getting older, the dreams that are yet to come true, a few other things that comes with the age that aren’t here yet, I thought I would focus on what I am thankful for as I grow older. 

So I guess it’s a good time to celebrate getting older. Psalm 90:12 tells us to "… number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom." I believe that means we are not only to seize the day and make each one count, but we are to be thankful for the number that we do have...be it 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60 or even 99. 

Making it one day to the next and trying to improve ourselves every step of the way should be celebrated. Being alive each day should be celebrated. Living brings wisdom, emotional maturity and insight. With age comes experience, skill, discernment and perspective. We become more empathetic. We develop the compassion to fully know and love others, and the confidence to relax into our best attributes. We gain the ability to know — and even strut — our own stuff. Seen in this light, getting older can be downright sexy … *winks*... 

As we get older let us remind ourselves of all that has made us who we are today and let’s be grateful. The question then is “Seyi what are YOU thankful for as you grow older?” Having a birthday offers me the welcome reminder that it is nothing short of a total miracle to be alive yet another year. I could call it any number of things, but with the sheer volume of mind-blowing things that can go wrong, and the mind-numbing forces that have to function well and cooperate for any of us to get ourselves up out of bed every day – much less to move from one place to another, love whom we love, and do what we do – it feels appropriate to use the term “miraculous” to describe making it from one entire year to the next. It is so stunningly humbling and awe-inspiring to be alive every day that I cannot help but think that having the opportunity to grow older and to age is a total privilege worth celebrating. 

I’m grateful for the family I was born into. Every moment with my family is a treasure I would never take for granted. Having the gift of another year with them is indeed a blessing. 

I’m grateful for the friends that never left all through the years. Friends who I want to love more and celebrate with the gift of this year. 

I’m grateful for life experiences. Every smile, scar, pain, tear, victory keeps molding me into the woman I am growing into with each passing year. 

I’m grateful I survived getting up at the crack of dawn almost every day to work towards my dream.

I’m grateful cos this year has dealt me quite a hand of highs and lows, but look at me now, stronger and wiser than ever before. 

I’m grateful, I am amazing and everyday is a work in progress.

With life being so difficult and people fighting seen and unseen battles, with the amount of reckless people in the world and with the amount of stress and pressure we put on ourselves everyday it should be celebrated when people have accomplished another 365 days. Life can be filled with so many unexpected twists and turns, pits and peaks, and to say we’ve made it another year is something to be acknowledged.



DA Studios, thank you for always helping out with the graphics. Titilayo Adesogan, thank you for taking the time to make me look beautiful. Omolola Bolaji thank you for the encouragement. Oluwateedeemarley thank you for the insight. Adeleye Adewale thank you for the inspiration to write. Ifeoluwa Osonoiki thank you for the memories you helped me create today. Motunrayo Ajibade thank you for giving me the courage and boldness. Sola Olododo thank you for the confidence in my work. Risikat Adeyemi everyday you teach me friendship is selflessness and sacrifice. Jumoke Ibitoye thank you for helping me find a friend in you. Temiloluwa Omidiji thank you for your good precious heart. Ebuka Okafor thank you for that awesome gift.

Untold Stories of Ibadan (Part 2)

Of course, there are things that could be better about the city but there are a few wrong perceptions about the city and a lot of them are not true. Let me share with you why I enjoy living in Ibadan. In contrast to Lagos, Ibadan isn't prone to traffic congestion. You do not have to leave home 5am to get to resume work at 8am. There may be traffic at some places at various times, but generally, Ibadan is not known for traffic congestion. Yeah, rent in Ibadan is fairly alright. It isn’t as cheap as we normally thought but it’s also not as bad as Lagos. Rent in Ibadan depends on where you wanna live and what your tastes are. Oh yeah, transportation is the cheapest thing in Ibadan. You can still take a keke napep for 30 bucks and some taxis for 50 bucks. . . lol (totally depends on your destination). Also the serenity in Ibadan; you can't compare the breeze/fresh air you get in Ibadan with the polluted air you'll inhale in Lagos. In Ibadan, you live longer and you stay healthier because it is a peaceful place.

Looking at it from another perspective, I must state that Ibadan is the center of the Yoruba culture a land rich in culture and traditions so there is much to learn. Moreover, Ibadan is called the “the ancient city”. This ancient city has for long held on to its cultural heritage, and this makes it an interesting place to visit in Nigeria. When you go into Ibadan town you would see many brown, rusty roofs and a lot of old looking buildings, some even abandoned. But, in some other parts of Ibadan you would see that the older buildings have been renovated and modern facilities have been installed around the city, the city now has a profound combination of the modern and conservative architectural interpretation. There are malls with escalators, ultra-modern shopping complexes, cinemas, high-end hotels and restaurants, local ‘bukas’ etc.  The truth however is, while Ibadan might be an ancient town, there are a lot of things to do and ways to entertain yourself and it all depends on what you want. Events, shows and tournaments are held on a regular basis. Ibadan might be an old city, but not all of its inhabitants have an archaic or boring orientation. There are currently 3 tertiary institutions in the city with students from around the country. So we have lots of young lively folks in Ibadan. Lots of companies (both local and International) are commencing operations in Ibadan.

A lot of people think that the people who live in Ibadan are not trendy. A number of times you see pictures of people looking weird and it being attributed to Ibadan with comments like: “Ibadan girls be like…” or “you can only see this in Ibadan”. Whereas some might consider it entertaining or even hilarious, it fosters a huge misconception. While it is impossible for everyone who lives in Ibadan, as in any town, to be trendy and up-to-date as regards fashion, tech and living in general, most of the inhabitants of the city are quite modish in their appearance and behavior. You should see the very few friends and acquaintances I have in Ibadan. Oh yeah, they are so on point and they are all based in Ibadan. A few weeks after I got to Ibadan I told my closest friend, “I like Ibadan and I would love to stay but I have no one here so how do I cope outside work”. My friend responded “If you decide to stay in Ibadan I promise I would always be there for you, all you have to do is just ask.” That just gave me more peace and joy. I was fine with the life in Ibadan and now I have a friend I could count on. Also I already had a bound with my team in the office and I was too emotionally attached to leave them. They made me find purpose and fulfillment on my job so I couldn’t just leave.

After 3 months of seeing that life in Ibadan was not as bad as I thought, I told my office I would love to stay a little longer in Ibadan. A year later I made the decision not to go back to Lagos because I love my life in Ibadan now. Yeah a lot of times I still do not like or accept some things in Ibadan and I still need to do some adjusting, moreover I miss Lagos and Abuja sometimes, I miss my family and friends especially when it gets so lonely but I have peace in Ibadan.

Many of my colleagues call me “Iya Ibadan” and sometimes ask if I would return to Lagos. I just tell them “NO” because I love Ibadan and I have peace of mind. The best aspect of living in Ibadan is about her relatively peaceful nature.

Lazedon thanks for the graphics. 

Untold Story of Ibadan (Part 1)

Recently, I had been struggling with putting pen to paper. I start writing something then I get distracted and I do not get to finish it and I move on to something else. Surprisingly the insight on what to write came in an amusing way and immediately I got my laptop and I started to compose this piece.

A chat with my in-law made me see what I should write. Jokingly he had asked what I was up to and if I had any plans for the day. I had not responded when he asked “is there a cinema in Ibadan?” I laughed so really hard without responding, I just kept laughing so hard. I laughed so much because that was the exact question I had asked around 3 years ago when my office in Lagos requested my colleague and I to open a branch of the Legal Department in Ibadan, I was to be in Ibadan for a period of 3 months before returning. My immediate answer was “NO” because I thought they were sending me to a “dead town”. I had once attended a camp meeting when I was 10 years old, the vivid picture of Ibadan displayed in my head was that of a very big town with lots of brown dirty roofs, old looking houses, lots of hawkers and mad men living on the streets, and all that.  My colleague was willing to explore and try something new but I didn’t want to, so my answer was still NO.

After much contemplation, I said to myself, “Ibadan might be as local and boring as I pictured but all I really need is a nice hotel to lodge or a good service apartment, a good church, somewhere like a mall to get stuff I need and I guess movies”. So I decided to Google “is there a cinema in Ibadan”, “are there malls in Ibadan”, “is there shoprite in Ibadan” “best place to live in Ibadan” “hotels in Ibadan” “pictures of Ibadan” . . . and a lot more. . . how so hilarious. When I eventually accepted to come to Ibadan I told some of my friends and they also had lots of questions like I did and it always ended with “how will you cope or survive in that town”, “would you come to Lagos for weekends?”, “how will you have fun?” “I hope you would not come back acting like those local people?” and it goes on and on.

As we drove to Ibadan to resume work I kept trying to talk myself into accepting what my new life might be for the next 3 months. Later in the week, we hooked up with an old friend who took us to the movies at Ventura and I was flabbergasted that Ibadan had something of such interest and excitement. In the course of the week, we visited a few other places and drove around a bit. Ibadan has 3 malls with cinemas, bowling section, Chinese restaurants, lounges, cold stone ice cream, perfumery, lovely shops and much more. So I had to take back all the not so pleasant things I had said about Ibadan. Ibadan is not what I thought it was. Now let me tell you the untold story of Ibadan . . . To be continued

MOTHERHOOD

Sitting in my sister’s living room, watching her with her family I thought I needed to write a piece on motherhood. Well biologically I’m not a mom yet but by my way of life and environment I am a mom to so many. Infact I’m a grandma … lol. Lemme explain before you start rolling your eyes. I have this young lady who many years back I had taken under my wings as my daughter. She sent me a text on the 1st of Jan telling me I’m now a grandma. So you see I’m a grandma *winks*

I left my sister’s home and I ignored the thought of writing this piece. Then on New Year’s Day I got invited by my childhood friend to spend the day with her and her family. Let me mention that my friend is heavily pregnant and she has an energetic male toddler. I watched as she tried to get herself around, attend to her toddler, get the cooking done and still attend to her guest. It was great joy and pleasure for me to help her do the cooking and cleaning. When we were done I watched as she slowly went to get a shower, she got back and sank into the sofa with a plate of food she no longer had appetite to eat and she still had to pacify the toddler who didn’t understand why his mom would not give him so much attention. By the time I was leaving her house that evening I became convinced that I needed to write this piece on the joy of motherhood to celebrate all mothers. 

Watching my sister and my friend I could see that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and contentment. Motherhood is indeed a valley of tears and a mountain of immeasurable joy. Not just because mothers go through so much for the sake of their stretching, growing children, but because they give of their very physical substance to nourish them and it costs them something. I have watched pregnant mothers stagger under the weight of the illness and fatigue of pregnancies that seem to drain their very soul. They cry out in anguish as they labor and give birth. However, complete joy sweeps through the mother as she holds her baby in her arms for the first time. It is the great and mysterious gift of motherhood. They say that immediately after the birth, they forget the pain and everything that they had being through during the pregnancy.

No one can tell you exactly what to expect as you step into the phase of motherhood. It’s something you unravel and understand yourself and find what works for you. In the first few years of motherhood, no one ever tells you how inevitably hard it is going to get. You just learn from your experiences. What amazes me the most about these mothers is that I can see it never gets easier and I guess they were afraid at the beginning but all you ever see on their faces is overwhelming joy and pride as they nurse their babies into healthy and strong children. 

For the typical African woman she still needs to ensure the hubby is well taken care of and attended to *smiles*. Of course she still needs to keep the house running well amidst all the chores and wifely duties. And if she is a working mother, she needs to ensure her work doesn’t suffer for all the times she had to stay up nursing the baby at night. Who says being a mother is not a big deal. Just as motherhood is filled with incredible highs it is filled with incredible lows. It is tremendously hard, demanding, and at times frustrating. I had no idea how demanding motherhood was until I watched my close friends and sister become mothers. But this doesn’t even elucidate it well because I’m not there yet.

According to my sister “guess there is a grace God gives to Mothers and strength that comes from within which you don't even know is there until you need it and reach for it. With time you don't even realize the effort it takes anymore it just becomes normal. But there are days hmmm you just want lie and be selfish but the mother in you won’t let you...lol.” 

To my mum who never thinks we are too old to be looked after and cared for, to my sweet sister who is now a mother that inspires, to my dearest daughter who just became a mother, to my precious friends who have all those adorable babies that make me feel like a mother already, and to every mother out there I doff my hat to you. 

“Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” ― Donna Ball.

Take a Moment to Soak it in

"Take a moment to soak it in, relax and be grateful. Appreciate where you are on the way to where you are going, appreciate your progress.” That was the sermon that beautiful Sunday morning. The preacher continued “Stop what you are doing, pause for a minute and just take it all in. Take a moment to feel it and enjoy what you have now before you get carried away with the next thing you want.” Hearing those words took me back to a period/time when all I could do was soak it all in.

Stepping into 2017, I thought I had a plan on how I wanted everything to play out. I had carefully prayed and drawn up my goals and plans for 2017, but, what I didn’t consider was that, plans do change. Things we did not anticipate pop up and it looks like everything is getting all messed up and we feel like we are drowning, unsure of the next step to take. In moments like this, we tend to forget every other thing and all that clouds our mind, thoughts, and actions are how do we get over this, how do we handle it, how do we come up with a solution, how do we raise the money, how do we mend the relationship, how do we get the job, how do we get well again, how do we get over the bitterness and rage, how do we pass that exam, how do we … so many questions asked. 

The first quarter of the year, for me, went as planned but then, I didn’t see what was coming in the 2nd quarter. Some things came up and it looked like I was going to be homeless by the end of April... Yeah, I just said homeless *wink*... I was having some bit of accommodation issues. The 'ish' with it was that I never saw that coming at the beginning of the year so I did not have a plan. Within three weeks I needed to find a new place, raise the money, get it set up and move into it. I obviously didn’t know where to start from or what to do. I felt so confused, dejected, angry, frustrated, helpless plus I had an examination to prepare for.

At the time, I was at my wit's end and I wasn’t certain how I was going to go about it. However, I had a friend who kept telling me “Seyi, it’s no big deal, you just have to make the first move and every other thing will fall in place. Everything always sorts itself out.” Surprisingly within that 3 weeks, everything did sort itself out. I had some good friends who did all they could to ensure I settled down nicely. 

That night after my friends (Bolanle, Teedee and Tope) left, I kept saying thank you over and over again, I love you guys. I just paused in the middle of the room noticing what was around me and happening in the present moment and all I could do was soak it all in. For minutes I stood there not saying or doing anything, I was just appreciating and admiring the moment of what I had which no one could see. At that point nothing else mattered, I was simply grateful for where I was. It was magical. I wasn’t thinking about sorting the remaining bills, arranging the house, decorating, reading for my exam... I just stayed in the moment and I was very grateful. That was my moment when I soaked it all in.

Life happens fast. Whether we’re looking at the big picture or just day-to-day tasks, we always seem to be in a rush to get to the next thing. But in the hustle and bustle of it all, it seems like we’re fast-forwarding through some important stuff. We’ve gone from skimming the daily news to skimming everything. Many times we want something. We desire it, we work so hard towards it, we press to get that thing, and we pray to get it. When that thing finally comes, we need to take some time to soak it in, be grateful for it before we rush off to the next thing. That way we see the magic and miracles in our everyday lives.  

You got the job you wanted, take a moment to soak it in before pondering on your bills.

You got admission in school after so long, soak it in before worrying about school fees.

You passed that 1st stage of the exam, soak it in before worrying about the next stage.

You got pregnant, soak it in before getting anxious about wanting a boy instead of a girl. 

You finally got married, soak it in before worrying about getting pregnant.

Yes, we need to plan ahead for the next phase but it is important we enjoy every moment as they come, appreciating our achievements while working towards achieving greater ones. Try to stay present. How often are we truly present in our lives? It’s hard, isn’t it? We have so many things to do, place to be, people to see. We all know that we should slow down and enjoy life more. We may try for a little while, but then we’re off to the races again, filling our lives with more busyness and distractions.

Lean into the moment and don’t be afraid to just slow things down. It’s taking little moments in the day and just really treasuring the moments that bring out the beauty of life. Those small victories are important in winning the war.

Take a deep breath. Soak in this moment for all that it is.

IT ENDED WELL . . .

Sometimes, I wake up in the morning feeling a little bit grumpy because it's time to do it all again. Same routine everyday! Nothing different, or spectacular or probably dramatic. It's just the same old thing! On days like this, I wished I could stay in bed, pull the sheet over my head without having to do anything. Knowing that isn't an option, I just stay in bed for awhile juggling thoughts in my head, I then have some conversation with God. Hesitantly, I get out of bed, shower, get dressed, put on some bright makeup, and then go to work. 

Could be you feel the same way too . . . These are days I sleuth over my life lived, to ask, is this how I've planned all along? 

My psyche is to plan for everything, being meticulous, prim to the gilt ensure I have a well laid out plan. I always want to understand and give a reason or answer to everything in my life. I don't like to be caught off guard or in the middle of unpleasant surprises. 

Life is so daily and often filled with uncertainty, a reality that can make me very nervous. I want to know what the plan is and how that plan is going to be implemented. Details! I need details! The problem with people like me is that when our plans gets altered in anyway, it actually almost tears us down. Though I will always put up the boldness like it's all under control, deep within me I am probably shattered and a complete wreck.

Sitting all alone, looking at 2016 and how well I thought I had planned for 2016, I would say, it’s been a good year but a really tough season with lots of topsy turvy ups, unplanned events and the goosebumps of economic recession. Dare I say, for our country, tensions are running high, so many uncertainties and it's incomprehensible complexity

Now, wrapping up the year,trying to do my checks and balances, I'm not exactly sure 2016 went as planned. Many of the things entrusted to me in life were beginning to feel more like burdens than blessings. There were just a lot of little things swamping my thoughts. Feelings of inadequacy. There are so many things I’m responsible for and I'm not sure I got them all done before the end of the year. I do enough to keep things from sinking. But I just wonder if I did everything well. I wonder if I kept the relationships in my life going well. I wonder about a lot of things . . . For me when things aren't t going as planned, I build walls around my heart and I don’t want to let anyone in, especially if I know they’ll challenge me. Maybe it’s because I’m who I am, or because I am fearful of unfamiliar turf. I throw out people that matter, when feeling weak or vulnerable. 

In the last few days of this year, I planned out a trip to Ilorin, so I could spend sometime with my childhood friend and her family. Initially, trusting my makeup, which is to cancel the trip, on a second thought, I told myself I needed to do something different. Even though the trip was unplanned, it was the one best decision I've made this year. Could I pause to say, my friend has got 3 boys, ages 7, 5 and 4 so I call her Toyin and her squad. 

Spending time with them, watching them turn the house upside down, watching the boys fight, watching their mum settle fights, watching them play and all that . . . It brought so much rays of light to my prism heart. 

Year 2016, didn’t exactly go as planned I didn't achieve all I wanted, yet there were many wonderful things, which I didn't ask for that I got. The gift of each new day in 2016. The blessing of good health. The strength and grace to keep the office going. The promotion at work. The victories I have. The jewels of goodly sort that I call my family, my love for you guys is beyond what words can express. Oluwatamilore and Nadiv, I love you to the moon and beyond. For my mum and dad, thank you for moulding me into the woman I have become.Oluwamayowa I would pick you over and over again as my sister. Thank you for giving me an awesome elder brother that I never had. Samuel, Jay and Ladi, thank you for being my bigger fans. Thank you for always cheering me and believing in me. For my Git family, seeing your faces gives me a reason to go on even when I get so close to giving up. You give me the strength to still walk through those doors every day. Bolanle, Modupe, Oluwatodimu, and Motun I can't call you colleagues. I call you my family. My love for you guys is far beyond phantomable words. Hope, Omolola, Tope, Opeoluwa, Temi, Ebuka, Tunde, Abiodun, I hold you dear to my heart. For the rare gift of good friends that I have in my life. Damola, Rali, Morenike, Kofo, Bukky, Molly, Femi, Inioluwa, despite the distance between us, our friendship still stands. I love you guys plenty. Alimi sometimes I wonder how we are still friends . . . Lol . . . You know I appreciate our friendship and I love you. To Toyin and her squad, thank you always. . . By the way Ayomi is still my favourite member of the squad. . . *wink*. To you my dear friend, I know you would not want me to mention your name. Thank you for being there despite all the odds. Thank you for standing with me through turbulent times. You walked right by my side when I thought the journey was getting too exhausting. I wish I could tell you just how much you mean to me. Faced with the risk of drowning, you remained as an anchor for me. I love you so very much and you know you are irreplaceable. To the author and finisher of my faith. . . Oluwa e tobi. Ko si eni ti mo le fi se akawe yin.

Indeed, I have so much to be grateful for looking back at the year 2016. It didn’t go as I planned but I can say it ended well.

WHAT IS YOUR REASON...?

Relishing my cup of hot chocolate I could smell something in the air. There was just something about the atmosphere that felt a bit special for a few minutes . . . it was the smell of Christmas . . . I giggled when I remembered my childhood memories of Christmas. Oh yes . . . Traditionally, every festive season, birthdays and special occasion was a thing to look forward to in my family. My mum always wants to celebrate and be happy not to forget my dad who was also fun loving. The house gets decorated; the Christmas cards and hampers keep rolling in; picnics and parties get planned; a lot to eat and drink; lots and lots of cooking, visits from friends and family, gifts and so many more. However, whatever the plan was, we always spent every festive season together as a family. As we grew older the fun in it started to drop because one after the other we had to start leaving home and moving on with different pursuits of life. I loved holidays then but I suddenly realized I am not a big fan of plenty celebrations and all. I would rather stay where ever I am, get enough movies, a few good friends and chocolates to keep me company . . . *smiles*. 

So that morning when I smelt Christmas, I had smiles on my face and I thought to myself “I need to write something about Christmas”. I pondered on what to write on my way to work the next day. Should I write something about the list of movies to watch during Christmas (I love Christmas movies). Should I write on the list of gifts to get for loved ones by the way my sister taught me the art of giving during Christmas, no matter how little the gift was, she would make lots of gift boxes and careful ensure every gift she got was beautifully wrapped. Should I write on places to visit during Christmas? Should I write on activities to do during Christmas? Finally I thought “what’s the point writing about the holidays when I don’t even have plans for myself”.

Awesomely, I walked into the office that day and I saw a colleague wearing a Christmas cap . . . yes the white and red Christmas cap. She wore it elegantly throughout the day not minding she was the only one wearing a Christmas cap in the office. I didn’t get to ask her reason for wearing the Christmas cap but every time I bumped into her that day I had a look of admiration. For her Christmas had started whatever her reason was. She didn’t have to wait until the 25th to celebrate the holidays. She was already making it what she wanted it to be. So I asked myself what will be my reason for celebrating this holiday and what do I want for the holiday. What do I want for Christmas? Before close of work that day I already knew what I needed to write about . . . What is your reason . . . ? 

The holiday is just around the corner. For some people, that thought spurs exciting memories of beautifully decorated tables filled with scrumptious meals, festive shopping, vacation, partying, family time, and brightly wrapped gifts . . . For some others, they are totally indifferent because it just affords them enough time to rest and take some days off the hustle and bustle of each day. And surprisingly for a few others, who due to one reason or the other do not see the need to be merry – especially those who have had a difficult time of some sort in the course of the year - the holiday season is a very difficult and dark time that is to be endured rather than enjoyed. I was walking down the office hallway with my friends and we saw an office beautifully adorned with Christmas decoration. One of us then said “when would the decoration for our office arrive”. My other friend smiled and said “the money for that would rather be used for something else”. He had said this in view of the latest slogan everywhere “economic recession” . . . lol. Then again he said “in fact what’s merry about the Christmas”. Immediately it hit me again that for you to really appreciate and enjoy this holiday, you would need a reason. Later that day sharing a drink with my friend over some conversation, without saying it out in my head I knew I had an answer to the question he had asked earlier. My answer was “you have been my friend all through the year, that’s one reason to celebrate the holidays”. Another reason I have to celebrate is because Christmas this year falls on a Sunday and I would get to go to church to celebrate the Christmas with God. Another reason I have to celebrate is because I became an aunt this year with the gift of Oluwatamilore and Nadiv. Another reason is the excitement of getting an opportunity to go gift shopping. I sure do have a lot of reasons.

The end of the year is a time I think we should find a reason to celebrate in whatever way we can . . . if we choose to focus on the victories and joys we have experienced during the year, the good times of many laughter, the everyday little miracles, the fun times with friends and family, the precious gift of true friendship, we will definitely find a reason to celebrate this holiday. Let us put aside the economic recession, the challenges around, the stop gap . . . *some people with understand what this means* and so on.

Christmas can be a true celebration of fresh starts and new beginnings. A period you take time off your busy schedule and just give yourself a nice treat. Perhaps you wanna go to the park with the children riding on horse backs, playing games and taking a roller coaster ride. You could be like my colleague who without knowing gave me an inspiration to write this piece. You could decide to put a smile on someone’s face with a surprise gift no matter how little. You could be like a special friend of mine who ensures we come together at the beginning of every year to have plenty fun.

Find a reason to celebrate the holidays. Take off the hat, let your hair down, laugh so hard, dance around a little, and make memories . . . enjoy this holiday. 

I LOVE DOING DISHES

This write-up is kinda different from my regular writing. Before I started writing I thought to myself "who would wanna read something about dishes." However, I decided to write it anyway... lol. 

There is something about doing the dishes that is relaxing. I love washing dishes. I love the simple yet important task of washing plates. The first time I said that out loud to myself it was bizarre because I never actually realized I loved doing dishes. I recently discovered my love for doing dishes.

It was a beautiful Monday morning and I was not going to work because I had taken some days off work to spend time with my sister and my little nephew. That morning mum said the baby bottle sterilizer needed to be washed. Before I could do that I needed to do all the dishes in the sink so I could have enough space to wash the sterilizer. Bit by bit I piled all the dishes up in one of the sink while I washed in the other. In no time all the dishes were completely washed and dried. By the time I was through with all the dishes and the baby sterilizer I felt a wave of pleasure sweep through me. I was having a beautiful morning already because I enjoyed every morsel of what I had just done. 

Yeah, I love washing dishes. It’s engaging, to me, because I make it so. While it is possible to wash dishes without paying attention to what you are doing, letting the mind drift where it will, my love for it comes from the times when I do it consciously. It is surprising when I hear people say doing dishes is unpleasant. To my mind, the idea that doing dishes is unpleasant can occur only when you aren’t doing them. Once you are standing in front of the sink with your wristwatch off, your sleeves rolled up, your hair pulled back in a pony tail and your hands in the water, it is really quite pleasant. I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of the dish, the water, the soap, and each movement of my hands . . . the dishes themselves and the fact that I am here washing them is beautiful. I must confess it takes me a bit longer to do the dishes sometimes, but I enjoy every bit of it. Washing the dishes with patience and attention is a perfect opportunity to develop a love affair with the simple things of everyday life. 

Occasionally the mundane things are the things that bring us the most pleasure. Things we actually take as insignificant or unimportant are the little things we need to remind us of the simplicity of life. It gives us the chance to take a little peek into the tiny but enormous world of simply noticing what is around you, and engaging fully with it. 

CHERISH EVERY MOMENT

Cherish the moment before it becomes a memory. – Author Unknown

Why is it so hard for me to stop working and just have fun? Why is it so hard for me to just pause and take in the beauty of each day. Other people have no trouble doing this. They look for any reason to drop all the work files, ditch the house cleaning, postpone the cooking, turn off the computer, and head to the movies. Or the lounge. Or the mall. Or the park. Or shopping. Or dancing. Sometimes I wish I were more like that. But then even though I like to have some fun, I'm the one who wants to make sure we get all the work done first — before any fun begins. The only problem is that the work is never done. When one is done, another one is waiting right there to get started.

A few years ago through a mutual friend I had the distinct privilege of becoming friends with this amazing guy. We exchanged contacts and kept in touch with each other. It didn't take long for me to realize what an amazing person I had become friends with. He’s very passionate and excited about everything in life. Even the smallest insignificant stuff gives him a reason to see beauty all around him. One thing was unmistakable to me about him, his passionate embrace of the magnificent and how simply he took life. He’s a friend I hardly ever see but we talk from time to time. Every time I have a conversation with him, there’s always a reason to see the beauty and splendor all around me. For him everything was beautiful and amazing in its own way. He would encourage me to take a break off work, have fun, spend time with people, hang out, and go partying. "Just take a break, relax and have fun" he would say. "It's not all about work, there is life outside work."

Talking to him always jolted my heart telling me to ignore the uptight part of me that took everything too seriously or the task-oriented part of me that wanted to work and tune out what was going on around me. The problem with people like me though we fail to admit it, is that sooner or later we get bored with all the things we surround ourselves with because we are too focused on the task at hand begging for our attention. We learn to appreciate the simplest of things in our lives only when it becomes a rarity. Sometimes we don’t realize how big the little things in life really are. The little things in our everyday routine are what unite us to the bigger things in life. The small enjoyable things are all around us. Oh, how easy it is to get carried away with so many distractions that cloak our everyday life. We lose sight of the grandeur and colorful art that exist even in the most insignificant places. Maybe we all need a reminder. Something that constantly reminds us of the beauty that lies around. Someone just like my friend that bumps us out of the world we have built for ourselves to see the beauty and fun that lies around us and live in the moment. To take out time to love and appreciate those we care about. 

My idea of loving others is often shown by serving them. But some people feel loved when I simply spend time with them. And for some, that time needs to be a little less task-oriented and a lot more laughter-filled. Now I have to be intentional about having fun. Initiate getting together with others. Say yes when invited. Stretch outside my comfort zone. Exchange more pleasantries with colleagues. Let my hair down and just laugh like no one is watching. Enjoy the amazing weather. Smell the freshness in the morning air on my way to work. Appreciate everything no matter how tiny.

The truth is work will always be there — but the people might not be and the moments might be gone.